The End Of Forever
by Kelisidina
Summary: After a night of unexpected feelings, Yusei and Aki have found themselves in a rather unfortunate and tricky situation. Will they fight for their love, which is considered wrong and sick to so many people? Or will they just let it go and resign to fate?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

* * *

'Damn it.' I cursed under my breath when I had accidentally cut my finger with a kitchen knife.

It was my first attempt to peel a potato. Yusei was staying with me now, at least for a little while. He and his wife were having quite a fight amongst themselves, and things were getting hectic between them. And so one night, after he and Aya, as was her name, got into another conflict about financial problems, he sought comfort and advice in me. But then we made eye contact, and I had a huge crush on him. And so I kissed him.

But it wasn't completely my fault; he started kissing me back, and he was the one who initiated the more sinful thing we had done.

Ever since then, he and I were loving each other in secret. He'd come and stay with me after work, a maximum of one hour so he could give the excuse of traffic. He usually ate dinner here, since Aya never cooked him meals anymore. I didn't know much, though. He didn't like talking about it, so most of the information I gathered came from Jack. Because of what the new King and I were doing, the blonde hated me even more. He always had his morals despite himself. But he was also a terrible gossiper, and told me his friend's private issues anyway.

I knew that I was being a despicable bitch. But was I really so wrong to love someone? Doesn't everyone have the right to love and be loved? Am I so different just because I'm...

Yes. Yes I am.

I was ruining a marriage, probably more than it already is. If she found out about all of this, I don't know how I could live with myself. Yusei would definitely get into trouble as well, though not as much as me. I was going against everything I had ever learned, rules of life that had been edged into my consciousness. I wasn't even happy with this arrangement, only finding comfort in the fact that the man I loved more than anything was with me. At least for now.

Another thing pestered my in my sleep and wake was how he saw me; He never once told me he loved me. More often than not, he'd immediately pull me into bed without warning. I wanted to do those things with him too, but I wanted him to know that what I felt for him was more than just bodily lust. My heart felt for him.

I winced in pain as I ran tap water over the fresh cut. Tears started forming in my eyes when I realized that I deserved this kinda of hurt ten times over.

'Hey.' the dark-haired Signer called to me, attempting to stifle a tired yawn. We had done it again.

'Hey.' I called back, smiling. 'I'm sorry, I'm not finished cooking yet.'

'That's fine. I need to go now anyway.'

Disappointed raced through me. We haven't even gotten to do much, except for sex. Thing is, I wanted much more than that; I wanted to hold him close and just enjoy his scent, his breathing, the soft beating of his heart. I wanted to watch a movie with him and cuddle on the couch. I wanted him to whisper his love to me.

Was there any?

'Can I come with you? I'll take the cab back here.' I pleaded sheepishly.

He looked at me wearily, examining my form for a while. His eyes were once so full of life and warmth. And now all I see in those cobalt blue gems is nothing but emptiness. He was so unhappy, so trapped in his own web of sadness. He deserved much more than that; he deserved to be happy.

I think, somewhere deep in my heart, I feel like I can give it to him if he'd let me.

'Fine.' he said, and I followed him, relieved he'd allowed me to do so.

* * *

We didn't exchange a single word during the whole ride. I noticed that his car was dirty; very unbecoming of him. He always kept his precious technology spick and span. But that was when they actually meant something to him and when feeling the cold air breeze through his form as he drove excited him. Now, he just saw it as a means of transportation.

He stopped abruptly, taking the keys out in a hurry. 'We're here. Get out of the car, run and call a taxi as fast as you can. I can't have anyone seeing you.'

'Ok.' I started, reaching for his hand. 'I love you.'

'Yeah.' was his reply, and he bolted out of the car so fast that I wasn't able to touch the skin of his fingers in time. I, too, ran and hid behind a bush when he rang the doorbell.

'Yusei.' Aya whispered, kissing him fully on the lips.

I felt the sound of my own heart breaking, seeing him kiss her back.

Even if I was the other woman.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

* * *

I awaited Yusei's arrival, my thoughts focused on his wife, Aya.

Last night was horrible. I saw her, I saw how beautiful she was. She had such light skin, glowing even though it was dark. She had really straight, long magenta hair, extending to her waist and flowing against the winter breeze. There was two shorter bangs on either side of her face, reaching her collarbone. Her eyes were a light tint of brown, and shaped like almonds. I bit my lip when I realized that I was nothing in comparison to her. She was so insanely perfect, so hard to imagine why Yusei would ever even think of going with me rather than her.

I stopped my tears from escaping, gripping the fabric of my clothing and trying to remove all traces of memory about her. She looked nice too, the type of woman who would welcome you into her home and entertain you. She looked like the type who knew how to cook, clean and do anything you ask of her.

She's so normal.

I gasped a little as shooting pain pierced my hands. I let go of my shirt, turning my palms over and seeing the small, fresh wounds that I had inflicted upon myself. The tears started flowing, despite my previous efforts to stop it. Salty water stung the gashes, and I realized with hurt that I wasn't exactly an average human being. This is what I did, to others and to myself; cause suffering.

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, unable to stop myself from comparing my form to that woman's. I looked like a fright, my whole face stained with the cold liquid emerging from the corner of my eyes. My hair wasn't straight or long like hers; it was short and sort of cropped a bit, boyish compared to that elegance.

Even her body was something to be envious of; she had curves in all the right places. I secretly wished her figure would turn unattractive should she give birth, despising myself even more for wishing others ill fortune.

That was another thing that made me question the situation I was in, and if what I was doing was excusable; Was Yusei still sleeping with her? Or perhaps she was already pregnant from the good times they shared? What happens if a child comes into view?

I knew that then it would have to end. The thought made me want to cry even harder, but I wiped my eyes dry as I heard the soft hiss of the door sliding open. It was the man I waited for everyday after work. Only he knew the password to my hotel room.

'Hey. How was your day?' I asked cheerfully, hiding the pain in my voice. I could suffer in silence. But Yusei... I'd rather him not suffer at all.

He didn't answer. His tired, blue eyes just refused to meet my gaze, strong arms pulling me to him and pressing his lips to mine. I tried to free myself, but he wouldn't let me. It wasn't that I was scared or anything; in fact, I was actually used to it. But I wanted to do something new today, something that didn't involve being treated roughly.

'Wait.' I had intended to say sternly, but my I couldn't find my voice. It came out small and weak.

I don't think he heard me; he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the bedroom. I felt my back land on the bed, and his weight was pushed on top of my. My clothes were being taken off and discarded to the floor, and I was unable to stop it. I threw my head back and gritted my teeth when he started, and I tried to shut my mind off of everything except for him.

But I couldn't.

I kept wondering if this was how it would feel like if I were truly his wife; guilty, sick and dirty. They say that if two people marry and are happy with each other's presence, it would feel just like heaven. This wasn't heaven, not even close to him. I loved him with all my heart, so why does it feel so wrong? Because he's taken. Because he's already in love with someone else.

Even if he would deny it all the time, I could tell that Aya still meant the world to him. That was why he was even putting up with her; because he wanted to overcome the obstacles and be able to come home to the woman he loved.

I bit my lower lip and shut my eyes, desperately trying to stop myself from remembering the one thing that made me cry myself to sleep last night.

'Yusei.' she whispered, kissing him deeply.

No.

_'Hi there, stranger.' he responded and looked at her with eyes full of love and warmth._

Stop.

_It was the old Yusei coming back, that look in his eyes meant for only one person._

Please, I don't want to remember.

_He cupped her face, smiled..._

'S-stop...'

_'I love you.'_

This isn't happening.

'Did I hurt you?' he asked, turning my face to meet my gaze.

'No.' I replied, noticing that tears were spilling out of my eyes. 'Sorry. I was just... thinking.'

He nodded, finished with his actions and laying himself beside me. I didn't bother resting myself on his chest; it would hurt too much to do that, not now. And he never initiated it, so I suppose that he doesn't want to. The thought made me want to scream; was I really just something to be toyed around?

After a few moments, he stood up and dressed. He seemed like he was in a hurry, and I wanted to tear at my skin when it dawned on me that he had stopped by just to feel me again.

'Where are you going?'

'Aya's holding a small dinner gathering.' he started. 'She invited an awful lot of people; her relatives, Jack, Crow, Rua, Ruka, Yanagi...'

'Oh. I see.'

'You could come if you want.' he added, trying to be polite.

'No. It wouldn't look good on your part.'

'Yeah.' he muttered, and then he just left.

And I was alone again.

* * *

A/N: This chapter is fail. It's supposed to be some sort of explanation of what they do when Yusei drops by to "visit" her. I tried to depict Aki as someone who wants to believe that Yusei really loves her wholly, but is realizing that perhaps that isn't the case.

The point of this chapter is just for preparation, the real story begins on the next one. xD; And I'm so glad this was quite accepted, thanks so much, guys!


	3. Chapter 3

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**Chapter Three**

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The alarm clock rang noisily, making me grunt in annoyance. I didn't even know why I had one in the first place. I'd simply ignore it, or smash it, whichever works best. Then I'd drift back into the endless world of dreams, the only place that offers me any comfort now.

When I was awake, all I could think about was how stupid and dirty I was for having a relationship with a man who was already married. I had kissed him, made love to him. No, it wasn't making love. I now know that I'm just here for pleasure, for his needs and something that can take his mind off of his problems.

True, it hurt a lot, but I was to blame for most of it. I had deluded myself into thinking that he loved me, and that's why he was risking so much just to have this affair. I thought that I meant more to him, and I had hoped that he would see that he had married the wrong woman, and that I was the one who would love him no matter what. I didn't want to face the reality that he was still in love with her, always trying to make things work out between them.

Sighing, I just stood up from the bed and banged the alarm's SLEEP button. I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anyway. It was winter, and I had to wash the bed sheets again because of last week's events; when he had taken me again before rushing off to some family dinner. Come to think of it, ever since then, he never came back. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, trying to warm myself.

Panic rushed through me, but I suppressed it as best as I could. I snatched a clean dress from my drawer and made my way to the bathroom, eager to let the hot tap water soothe my skin. I entered the said room and stripped down, turning the temperature knob halfway above the red dot. It would be scalding, but I didn't care; I felt like such a whore.

I tried coming up with solutions to the problem, but none of them seemed to work. I could just continue doing what I wanted with him, continue with our secret meetings. But this guilt would continue to plague me and I don't think I could handle that. If I came clean to it with his wife, I'd only get even more disrespect; the disrespect I deserved. There was only one thing to do, and it hurt to think about it.

I had to end it.

I wanted to, I really did. I can't bear this constant feeling of dread and uncleanliness pushing its way deep into my heart every day. I had to talk to Yusei, ask him what I really meant to him and how we could solve this.

He'd choose Aya over me.

I smiled sadly to myself, fully aware and sure of that thought. That night I had seen them kiss, that night that I had seen him utter those three words to her, which I so longed him to whisper to me, I knew that two people couldn't have been more in love. That look in his eyes; it was that of the old Yusei, the true Yusei who I fell in love with. And sometimes, when you truly love someone, their happiness comes before yours.

I knew that I'd never find another person for me. I knew that I would never feel the same way about anyone the same way I feel about him. I always knew that he was the one for me, the one I'd always love. But I am not his love. I am not his life. I am not his.

My tears mixed with the running water, and I was grateful that I had gotten the chance to somehow experience Yusei's love, even if it wasn't real and even if it was for a short period of time. I'd find someone who'll love me for me, and I'll love him for him. But it just wouldn't be the same. Even so, I had to try.

I twisted the tap shut and got out, drying myself, changing and cleaning myself overall. I noticed that I couldn't concentrate; I brushed my teeth to the point wherein I saw blood on the brush, I combed my hair so straight it looked like a shampoo commercial and I put my dress on the wrong side nearly three times.

I suppose I was nervous. Who wouldn't be? Ending everything with the love of your life would really take your attention away from things.

As I walked out of the bathing area, I was surprised to see him, standing in front of me with a look of light on his face.

Was this him? Was this really him? Why did he look so... happy? So strong, so excited, like the Yusei of old times? But then his face turned stern, though that sparkle in his eyes stayed. He gripped my shoulders and fixed his gaze on me, and I immediately knew that it couldn't be good news. 'We have to end, Aki. We have to end this all right now.'

Although I was planning to do the same thing only moments ago, the blow was even harder coming from him. I wanted to nod and say I understood, I wanted to smile and let him knew that I cared, I wanted to just ignore the pang of pain in my heart threatening to tear my wide open and consume me, and to just let him go, let him be happy, let him be with Aya and live his fairy tale dream.

'But why?!' I found myself asking, anger building up inside. 'Why now?!'

'Aya's pregnant.'

* * *

A/N: I'm having way too much fun with this story. xD Updating is gonna get really slow though, because I hardly have time to do anything anymore. And when I do get some time, I usually need to focus on the Janime Wiki.

Thanks, everyone!

Read and Review please!


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

**Chapter Four**

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**  
**

'What?' I whispered, still feeling the aftershock.

'My wife is pregnant.' he said, lowering his eyes at me and apologizing silently. 'I'm sorry that this even happened in the first place. I shouldn't have led you on like that, I shouldn't have been disobedient to my wife. I-'

'I understand.' I interrupted, my voice surprisingly calm. I didn't want to look at him anymore, I just couldn't do it without wanting to burst into tears and cry myself to sleep. Yes. That's exactly what I wanted to do at this moment; cry and cry and fall asleep, then never wake up. I had been planning for this moment, and I knew that one day it would come. So then why did it still hurt? Why did it still feel like my heart was breaking in half?

I looked up at him with my eyes, but I felt like I was seeing life through glass; nothing seemed real, and I didn't want it to. I wanted to wake up, wake up from this hellish nightmare. Everything in my life was screwed up; Yusei was the only thing keeping my hanging. So what am I to do now, that I've lost what was most important to me?

He saw the sadness in my eyes, and his cobalt blue orbs turned sympathetic. I thought I was going to faint, finally looking deep into his gaze. I wanted to reach out. But I couldn't. It would be wrong, and that would just show how stupid I was to believe that there was any love between us at all. I loved him, but he... He just used me to fulfill his desires, even though he probably wasn't aware of it. Even so, I found the heart to forgive him. Because I'll always love him and because I wanted him so badly.

But I couldn't have him.

'Look, that night was a mistake.' he started, his tone gentle, but his words piercing. 'I was never supposed to sleep with you, I was going through a hard time in my life. But now... Aki, I'm going to have a family. I'm going to have a child, my child. I can't continue this.'

'I know.'

'You understand, don't you?'

I nodded, but he didn't buy it. Who would? I was completely miserable, and it probably showed.

'Can't you be happy for me?'

'I thought you loved me.' I said, only loud enough to hear. He stiffened, then let go of my shoulders. I heard him take a deep breath, lifting my chin up with his finger so we met eye to eye. I searched his eyes for feelings; any feelings. There was nothing except for determination; determination to set me straight and drive me away, so he can forget about me and so that I can forget about him. Did he really think that I only wanted him so he could please me? It hurt to think that, but it was probably true. What I just said shook him quite a bit. That's odd. I always told him I loved. Every day, before he left. Did he think I was lying the whole time?

'I never said I loved you.'

I think that at that moment, everything stopped; time, space, everything. And then I was just alone, not being able to hear anything but the sound of my own heart breaking, not being able to see anything but the future he had with his wife. And then compared to the future he would have with me, that seemed like paradise.

It was better this way; he deserved to be happy, he deserved everything Aya could offer. She was very pretty, and most likely just as kind as he is. He could have it; his very own happy ending.

'I know.' I clarified, smiling. Judging from his look of relief, I had successfully hidden my true feelings. 'I'm really glad that things are working out for you now. Besides, I knew that it wouldn't last.'

'Thank you.' his smile became even more gentle. 'Can we just forget anything ever happened between us? Let's just forget this whole thing and start again. As friends.'

'Ok.' I lied, and he shook my hand before leaving my home. I saw his back, and realized with great sadness in my heart that his back was all I ever really saw.

* * *

I chuckled softly, lying down on the couch and swinging my arm over my eyes. What a way to start the day. I was lightheaded, I lost the one person that mattered to me, and I still can't peel a potato. Fuck it. Come to think of it, my stomach wasn't feeling so good either. I sat up, suddenly aware of the sick bile building up at the back of my throat. I ran to the sink, relieved myself and washed my mouth.

Am I pregnant?

I rolled my eyes at the thought. Just because Aya was pregnant, didn't mean that I was too. But it still bothered me, so I reached for one of those pregnancy test kits from under my bed. Yusei was in a hurry last week. He didn't bother using contraception. And I wasn't on the pill.

I nervously paced the living room, waiting for the result of the test. I gritted my teeth, hating the timing of it all. Why now, why when he left me? If he never comes back, what good is that? No. Stop. It can't be positive, it just can't. We haven't used protection a few times ago, three months back. I didn't get pregnant then, and I certainly wouldn't now. Yusei was happy, why should I take that away from him? Am I really this big of a hinder to him?

The second the hand of my wall clock ticked to 10:00 am, I retrieved the strip of paper that would decide my fate.

Positive.

* * *

A/N: I'm a little disappointed with this chapter, it didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. I'm just really stressed lately, I've been rushing things before I have to do something.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it in some way.

Thanks everyone!

Read and Review please!


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

**Chapter Five**

* * *

Jack Atlas just continued to stare at me with a look of surprise, like he had seen a ghost. He was like a stone statue, with his legs crossed and a blank expression. I would have laughed and poked fun at him, but to do so with the situation at hand would be very uncalled for.

'You're _fucking pregnant_?'

'Yes.'

I inhaled deeply, trying to wash away all traces of self-loathing and nervousness in my body. It didn't work, and nothing probably will. I was pregnant with Yusei's child; Yusei, who had a loving wife, a beautiful home, the king of riding duels, and would soon have a baby that would be given birth to by his wife. Just like he always wanted.

I hated myself for practically ruining those plans, ruining his chance at happiness when I had wanted so bad to be the one to give it to him. But instead, I had destroyed everything he worked for and dreamed of. I bit my lower lip in frustration, tears stinging my eyes as the horrid taste of copper spread itself all over my mouth. I almost gagged at the mere sensation of blood, but held it in from fear of looking like more of a fool than I already was. 'He isn't going to be happy about this.'

'Who said you have to tell him?' his booming voice demanded, glaring at me as a predator would its prey.

'What do you mean? He has to know, whether you like it or not!'

'Is there a rule about that somewhere?! And for what?! Look.' he started, standing up and gripping my shoulders with an intensity that made me gasp. 'You wrecked his life. When he and Aya were fighting, he was crushed. You just reminded him of her; the two of you look alike, act alike. But you're nothing more than a cheap imitation. Now that he's finally opened his eyes to that, he can have another shot with his_ wife_, the one who actually deserves to be with him. God, Aki, don't you get it? You're the other woman!'

I almost cried right then and there. Cheap imitation? Only reminded him of her? Was that why he even approached me in the first place? Was that all I was to him; like a wax figure on display for children, to be laughed at and toyed with? 'What did he tell you?' I choked out.

Those purple eyes softened, probably from seeing how hurt I was. I 'That he wanted nothing more to do with you.'

The tears fell, blurring my vision and staining my face.

I turned my back to him, burying my face in my hands. My body convulsed with so many feelings I despised, feelings I would have done anything to never be experience ever again; Shame, anger, sadness, loneliness and hate. Shame, for having such a dirty body, conceiving when I haven't even gone through matrimony. Anger, at Yusei for using me like a pleasure toy, excited by his wife's pregnancy, but would surely be upset towards mine. Sadness, because I went against all my morals and got the result of it all. Loneliness, because I didn't want to raise a child all by myself, without a husband and without offering the child its father. Hate, towards myself for being so stupid and leading myself to believe that he loved me.

It was just a stupid illusion, something my stupidity lead me to believe. Something I wanted to believe, because I wanted to matter to him. Because I wanted my time with him to mean something other than sex and possession, other than him seeing me as just a woman. I wanted him to see a soul, a heart. I wanted him to see me. And all that hope has done for me is bring me misery.

'Are you ok?'

'Yeah. I-I'm fine.' I lied.

The sun was still shining so brightly, and children playing on the sidewalks were laughing and having fun. I realized that even if I was dying on the kitchen floor, the world would stay the same. No one would cry for me, no one would miss me. I know it sounds selfish, but I wanted my pain to mean something. I wanted my happiness to mean something. I wanted it to affect someone or anything, just as long as I was remembered. These thoughts made me cry even harder, to the point where I could hear myself sob and hiccup uncontrollably.

I heard the chair he was sitting on scrape, meaning he was pushing it back and standing up. I heard his footsteps come towards me, until they suddenly stopped. He was so close that I could feel his breath tickle the top of my head, so much was our height difference.

And then his arms wrapped around my waist.

'Wait..! Jack, what are you doing...?'

'Don't tell Yusei about your baby.' he hissed into my ear. I shivered in fear, seeing as how serious he was. 'I'll please you, everyday if you wish. Just don't ask him to do it for you; he doesn't need you. He has a wife.'

I screamed, and banged my fists against him, any part of him. He was hurting me, digging his nails into the skin of my thighs and forcing them apart. I couldn't feel the ground anymore, with him picking me up and forcing his mouth on mine.

I couldn't stop my tears, even now as I was being manhandled roughly. I only did this because of Yusei, I only did it because it was with him. I wouldn't offer myself to anyone else. I bit his tongue, and he threw me across the room.

The hard, marble floor made a big impact on my flank. The pain of it made me gasp, and I looked up at my assaulter, begging him silently to stop. He stared down at me with eyes of no emotion, bleeding out of his mouth. He wiped the blood away, and left me alone, the sound of the door slamming calming my nerves.

I rubbed my abdomen gently.

It's ok, my darling.

* * *

A/N: Damn it, I hardly put any effort... I'm sorry. Aya will be revealed, but please be patient.

Also, **othchick11**, please don't ask for me to update more than one chapter at a time, not even the mere mention of it. It's very stressful for me, and I update whenever I have something ready to offer, as long as I'm pleased with it. Please understand that, there's no way I could do two.

Thanks so much everyone!

Read and Review please!


	6. Chapter 6

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**Chapter Six**

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I laid myself on the freshly made bed, resting my hand on my abdomen.

I was already eighteen weeks in my pregnancy, a slight bulge starting to form, keeping it a secret from Yusei, my father, my mother and everybody. I haven't really left the luxurious apartment at all, secluding myself in my room and taking 30-minute walks around the pool four times a day. So I was staying particularly healthy, physically and even mentally.

I talked to my child, my son, in order to keep me company and never get lonely. The ultrasound proved him to be male, and I was very happy to know his gender. I remember when they asked where the father was, so that we could celebrate the news together. I said that he was on a business trip. I lied.

Even now, I was hurt that Yusei didn't do so much as visit me after the time we stopped seeing each other. Not even a phone call, a text, nothing. I didn't expect him to come back and be the father of our child, but I thought that we could be civil and remain friends. But he hadn't parted from me with ill feelings that I knew of, and he certainly didn't do it in an upset manner. So perhaps he was just busy with his Riding Duels. Too busy with being excited about being a father for his other child, the child he's always dreamed of. Mine would just be a version that would bring him stress and unhappiness.

I didn't want to render myself useless to him, but t seems that I really am. Maybe, if I had done my tasks as a Signer flawlessly, he would give me a chance. As a Signer, I was someone who could fight by his side, and offer him hope for his friends to come back. but I gave in to my powers, let Divine seep into my mind and throw into the pitt of hell. I gave in to being the witch I was meant to be. Because of that, the whole battle plan was thrown off, he panicked and tried his best to make it before sunset. Those feelings of panic that were within him were very unnecessary, and it only proved that I was mentally unstable, grabbing at any chance to be protected. It was proof that I was pathetic. Now that the battle is over, I was just a regular human being to him. But maybe he would have shown more respect for me if I had done my duty well, without pause or failure, or giving in to myself. But I don't have the power to turn back the hands of time.

'What should I name you?' I asked my child gently, trying to take my mind off of things. 'I wished that your father would be here to name you, and to raise you. But it's ok. I'll try to make you as happy as I can, and one day you can be someone he can be proud of.'

My voice choked, my feelings of sadness finding its way to it. And so I stopped talking. Just because I was miserable, didn't mean my child had to be too. Just because I was suffering, doesn't mean my baby has to. I gripped the armrest of the chair I was sitting on. It was an outlet for my frustration, instead of tears. They say unborn children know when you cry.

I wonder if Aya's child was a boy as well, or if it was a girl. Would Yusei prefer one gender over the other? Which would make him happier? I didn't even know that much about him, and we went to bed together. I should have just kept my body locked, kept it closed.

Jack was against me now, though he's been visiting once in a while and making small talk. He was probably monitoring me, making sure I wouldn't blurt everything out to the father of my child. Jack cared about his friends' happiness, especially his rival. He wanted to make sure I wouldn't ruin everything.

The thought made me laugh. Even when I don't do anything on my own, I just naturally make people nervous and frightened. I hoped that the being residing inside of me wouldn't be affected.  
And suddenly I became very frightened.

Even if I was old enough to get married, I was hardly old enough to raise someone on my own. What about schooling, medical priorities and insurance? What about registering him as a citizen, what about offering him a proper family a child should have? How would my parents react with his arrival? What could I do, when confronted with questions like "Who's the father?" of "How could you get pregnant so early?"? I didn't know what to do in any of those situations, I didn't know where to begin.

Worthless wrench.

That's exactly what I was, from head to toe. I shut my eyes, not wanting to think or feel or even live. I just wanted it all to end, to right all my wrongs or to wash away all my mistakes.

Suddenly, the buzzer rang. That's strange. The concierge didn't even call to say that a guest was coming. I suppose it's Jack again, being my personal police, keeping me in check and making sure I never went near the man I loved. It was horrifying and demeaning. The buzzes became more urgent, earnest, impatient.

I opened the door irritably, my eyes widening in shock. This wasn't Jack, not even close. I felt my knees weaken, something telling me to slam the door immediately as soon as I saw those amber eyes, that long cascade of magenta hair.

'Hello, Aki.' Aya greeted me.

* * *

A/N: Ok, very rushed chapter... But I'm pretty pleased with it. The main plot will probably arise in the next chapter, and it only flows from there.

Thanks everyone!

Read and Review please!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

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'Aya.' I addressed, confused and nervous at the same time.

What was she doing here? What did she want with me? Did she find out about my affair with Yusei? Has she come to demand an audience, point me out as a used whore and basically humiliate me to everyone she and I knew? That would be bad, taking my parents into consideration. They wouldn't react very nicely if they found out that I was pregnant, especially if they found out from the father's wife.

'Mrs. Fudo.' she corrected, glaring at me with eyes filled with hate.

She forced her way into my suite, holding her purse in front of her and looking quite elegant with her white and pink floral print sundress. Stopping abruptly, she turned to look back at me. We just continued staring at each other, her eyes full of anger and mine filled with anxiety and guilt. I tried to avert my gaze, focus my attention on something else.

And then I noticed that her stomach was flat, no bulge of any kind. That was odd; she and I probably got pregnant at the same time, if not, then she was obviously first. But she looked like nothing happened, that there was no living being inside of her. What happened?

The older woman cleared her throat, placing her hand on her abdomen. I looked up at her, and it was as if she read my mind. 'My baby died three weeks ago; When I found out that Yusei had an affair with you. He doesn't know that I know. I found out from Jack.'

I stiffened, gripping the fabric of my own sundress, though mine was plain and white, nothing once more in comparison to hers. I was like a peasant, and she was a queen who could order me around whenever she felt like it. She was usually so calm and cheerful, but now she was just menacing and unpredictable. Perhaps I would be too, if I found out that the man I loved was having a relationship with another woman behind my back. To think that we took vows, and that someone thinks she can just barge in on the peace and seduce him. My eyes started to well up with tears, realizing how hurt Aya probably is, how the impact struck her strong enough to lose her baby.

I murdered her baby.

'You were his first love.' she commented, and I shook my head.

'No. You were, you still are his one and only loved one. And I'm sorry that I ruined that, I'm sorry that I did horrible things.'

'A few years back.' she started, ignoring me. 'I saw him on TV. I knew he was the one who would make me happy, I needed him so badly. Then, I was invited to one of the King's parties, and I met him there. I slipped alcohol in his drink, got him drunk and asked him questions. I asked him what kind of woman he'd want, the kind of woman he'd love. He didn't give me a description. He gave me a name. That name was "Aki Izayoi".'

My eyes widened, shock and happiness coursing through my entire body. And then I remembered how he had used me for pleasure, and how he never once uttered his so-called "love" for me. It was a deception, a lie, something to throw me off-guard. 'That is a lie.'

'It's the truth, whether you like it or not. He loved everything about you.' she continued. 'From then on, I was determined to be exactly like you.'

'Stop it! That's all a lie, you're just trying to make a fool out of me!'

'You're just upset because you missed your chance with him, and that I successfully had him in my grasp.'

'What did you say?'

'First off, I was tan. I looked you up, and you were light-skinned, a peachy tint. And so I took pills that would alter my genetic code, and I still take them up to now. And then your hair was an unusual color, and I dyed my brown hair to make it exactly like yours. Of course, I had to grow it in order for my intentions not to be so obvious. My body wasn't as voluptuous as yours; I had a few implants on my breasts, and I had to shape and tone my legs. I needed an hourglass figure. I had green eyes, and so I took an experimental chemical started by Adolf Hitler, a chemical that he injected into the eyes of little jewish children to change their eye color. It worked, as you can tell, but your eyes are still so much lighter.'

Something was telling me to back away. Something was telling me to run and never look back, to leave and never return. Fear started engulfing me, and I shivered from it. These words I was hearing, they were out of this world. Words that belonged to a perfect housewife, but should be said by a psychotic maniac.

'Nevertheless, it worked. He started noticing me, and I started my seduction. You were always so sweet and innocent, strong and determined when provoked. You were such a vulnerable person, delicate and fragile in his eyes. And so I mimicked you, I did everything I could to ensure that I was a perfect replica of you. It worked, my plan was executed flawlessly. I became his wife, and I finally learned how it felt like to love and be loved. All my life, I've always had to choose between love and respect. But with Yusei, I experienced both. He wanted a child, but he never even came to bed with me anymore. So I got a sperm donor, getting pregnant through in-vitro fertilization, so I could give him a family, give myself a family.'

'You're crazy.' I whispered. She laughed a little, stepping closer. I backed away.

'I wouldn't have minded his having an affair, as long as I could continue playing his wife. But to have one with you... You, the person who I tried so hard to beat... I would never allow it. And you think you can have him now, because you bear his child?'

She grabbed my wrist, pulling me out the door. I tried to fight back, but I was already quite deep into my pregnancy. My body was weak, I couldn't fight her. She dragged me to the stairwell, facing me once more.

'I won't let you take anything away from me anymore.' she hissed, grinning fiendishly.

I experienced a falling sensation, rolling down the steps and landing on the ground painfully. The world started fading into black, Aya's smile mocking me. I placed my hand to my baby, surprised to feel something wet. I brought it up to my eyes, crying at the sight of blood on my fingers.

'Don't take him.' I managed, but I didn't know if Aya could hear me. She was way up there, dialing a number on her phone and saying nonsensical words in mock panic. 'Don't take my baby too.'

And then I died.

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A/N: Thanks everyone!

Read and Review please!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

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Pain.

I couldn't feel anything except pain. It spread throughout my whole body, but pained me especially on my abdomen, where my baby was. Yes, was. I just heard the news that I had had a miscarriage, doctors again asking where my husband was. That hurt even more; I couldn't be the only one affected by his death, I couldn't be the only one to mourn. When a good person dies, it has to make an impact on the world. It has to mean something.

I felt tears slide down my cheeks, warm against my cold skin. He wasn't dead, he couldn't be. I never felt his hands, I never heard his voice, I never saw him smile. I wondered why he had to die, when he did nothing wrong. It was all my doing. Aya was so infuriated with me, even if she was a psychotic bitch, I couldn't escape from the fact of the matter that I had made her that way. She only tried to be me, she only tried to drive Yusei away from me so that she could find love. But why did she have to take my baby? She took Yusei. Why take my baby too? He didn't even have a name.

The beeping of the monitors clarified over and over that what was happening was real. I needed an abortion, to take the dead fetus out of my womb. "The dead fetus"; that's what they called my child. Was that what he was? Just a creature nicknamed by science? Why couldn't they call him a baby, why couldn't they call him human? Why did they discard him and remain cold, just because he was never born? He was still alive back then, he was still living inside of me. I could feel him kick, making me uncomfortable, but reminding me that I was carrying life. That there was life in me. But now I was back to being an empty shell.

His father would never know, never know the suffering I've gone through. I would miss him; his blue eyes, like the ocean, deep and enchanting me, making me lose myself in him. And his tan skin, as warm as they looked and his limbs strong, reassuring me though he never loved me. Or rather, he did, before he was seduced.

I hated myself for not making a move on him sooner, even though I was actually dying to do so at the time. I just forced my to open, not wanting to remain asleep, not wanting to remain in my realm of thoughts.

'La. Lala la. La...' Aya chanted over and over, peeling an apple and looking extremely menacing with a knife in her hands. I yelped, and she looked at me, smiling sweetly with a hint of hate, just like a snake would. 'Oh, it's nice to see you're awake, Aki.'

'What are you doing here?' I demanded, my voice raspy from dehydration. No. This was the woman who killed him, my baby, my one companion. She took him from me, she did it on purpose. She murdered him.

'Oh, just because you have quite a fault against me, you know, having an affair with my husband and all, doesn't mean I can't look after you.'

'Stop it. Don't say that. We aren't friends, not even close. You took him.' my voice started wavering, and tears were rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably. 'You killed him. My baby, you killed him.'

'What are you talking about?' she asked, blinking her eyes in mock surprise. And to my own, she set the apple she was peeling down, along with the knife before stalking closer to me. Her face was now directly in front of me, eyes cold and threatening. As if commanding me to believe what she was about to say. 'You fell. We were going for a walk together, to discuss things. About how to deal with Yusei. And then you lost your balance on the stairwell, and fell. You just fell, Aki. It was an accident.'

'Stop it!' I screeched, and I noticed that the monitor for my heart rate began beating faster. 'You took him! You took my baby! You did it on purpose! You wanted to do it, you evil bitch!'

'You're just upset.' a familiar masculine voice asked. My eyes widened in happiness when I saw him; Yusei. Yusei, Yusei, Yusei. He was here, with me now.

No. He was here because of her.

'I'm not upset.' I hissed. 'She really did push me, she wanted to destroy me! She's crazy, she's not sane! You have to believe me, she's dangerous!'

The long-haired psycho started forming tears in her brown eyes, eyes that she tried so desperately to pass off as mine. She backed away and clung to my previous lover's arm, the sight of it making me want to scream. This was wrong, this was all so wrong! Everything was so twisted. 'Yusei... Honey..'

Honey, what a laugh.

'She's speaking of untrue words. Please, I told you the truth. You trust me, don't you?' that snake taunted in her overly sweet voice.

'Don't! She's nothing but a liar!' I hissed. If she wanted to be a snake, then I suppose I could be one too.

'But how can I believe you when you never even told me you were pregnant?' his angry voice rang.

'I didn't want to ruin your happiness with your wife! I didn't want to keep you from your life!' I cried, more tears threatening to fall.

'By hiding my other one?' he said in hurt exasperation.

I didn't even bother retorting. That bitch would just manipulate him, like a puppet on strings. I would always come out as the villain, whether I liked it or not. He'd never believe me, he'd never trust me. Not ever.

I was once his pleasure object. And now that he knew the consequences of that, he wouldn't even bother with me.

After a long silence, he shook his head, probably from disappointment and disgust. He left the room, Aya smirking evilly at me and hot on his heels.

And then I was alone again.

Hopefully, forever.

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A/N: Thanks everyone!

Read and Review please!


	9. Chapter 9

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**Chapter Nine**

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I hummed softly to myself, humming a sad, unrhythmic tune as I held my baby's urn. The doctors were able to arrange it so that he was created immediately, and I was going to be discharged today. I was already dressed in a black, long-sleeved, turtleneck dress that ended above my knee. To accompany it, I was wearing black stockings and black high heels.

I was mourning.

No one could ever tell me that I never knew my son. No one could ever tell me that I never loved him. I always talked to him, day in and day out. He was my only companion, and I was his only companion. We supported each other, he was what kept me going, even when I didn't have the man I once loved by my side.

Yes, the man I once loved. I couldn't feel anything for him anymore. Other than great sadness and disappointment, I was blank and cryptic. He gave me too many tears, hurt me too many times. I carried his child, I always told him I loved him. He just took advantage of that, disregarded me and refused to show any sympathy about my miscarriage. All he did was confront me and expressed his own disappointment towards me for not telling him about our child. He didn't let me explain that Jack wouldn't let me. Did he really think that I wanted to handle my pregnancy by myself? Did he really think that I wanted to raise one by myself? Did he really think that I wanted to tell my parents by myself? I scoffed. He couldn't understand my feelings, he didn't even try to. He was so stuck in his own little world, with his psychopath for a wife.

'Ms. Izayoi, are you ready?' a nurse called from the other side of the door. 'The cab's already downstairs.'

'Oh! Sure, I'm ready. I'll be there right away.' I replied, standing up from the chair and grabbing my black purse, the urn on my other hand. I opened the door with quite a bit of difficulty, having to turn the know with the side of my hand. What lay ahead stopped me in my tracks.

'Yusei.' I addressed plainly.

He looked weary, dark bags under his eyes, his shoulders stiff and tense. His white shirt was unbuttoned on the top three buttons, meaning he was probably too frustrated to bother with it. His eyes studied me before settling on the urn. On our son.

'That's...'

'My son.'

'_Our_ son.' he corrected, sighing heavily. His gaze fixed on me, the corners of his lips attempting a smile. 'We could still give him a name.'

That pulled at my heartstrings. I wanted to cry again, reminded that my son had no name, and touched that his father would still want to give him one. But it was too late now, too late for apologies and even kindness. I didn't need this Signer to help me stand on my own two feet. I could do it by myself. 'Just... Leave. Please.'

'You can't keep avoiding me. You can't keep pretending like we don't have any bonds.'

'The only bond we have is our bond as Signers.'

'And so my sleeping with you had no meaning at all?'

'You didn't love me.'

'Of course I did.' he started, cupping my face gently. I let him do it, the warmth and familiar feel of his hands soothing me. I felt so weak, unable to tell him to stop and push him away. 'I still do. I lied. You were my first love.'

_You were his first love._

'I loved everything about you.'

_He loved everything about you._

'But I have a wife.'

_And now he's mine._

I shut my eyes in horror, realizing that Aya's planned worked. I was too stuck in my own sadness in the past, and because of my selfishness, I had lost this game of love. 'You don't love her. You don't love her. You don't love her. You just thought you did because she was just like me.'

His eyes widened, narrowing after a few moments. 'Yes.'

'Why? Why didn't you just tell me you loved me? Why didn't you just ask me out for dinner, instead of seeing me in another person? In another woman? Why _make_ me the other woman, in the end? Couldn't you have just told me you loved me outright?'

He took a deep breath, his face traveling closer and closer to me. I backed away, but he advanced with me, in perfect timing. I felt the wall at my back, but still I tried to back away, only succeeding in hurting my back from the effort of trying to push an immoveable wall. And so I shut my eyes, pressed my lips together and tried to drone out all noise. And then I felt his lips on my forehead, whispering, 'But didn't I show you every way I could?'

I burst into tears then and there, and I felt him wipe them away. We were in a hospital, just like the other time he made my tears disappear. When he used a finger of his to lightly brush them away, awakening me. This was just like that time. The thought made me cry harder.

'Shh...' his deep voice hushed me, his face leaning in, his lips making their way to mine. But I didn't let him. I turned my head, making it evident that I didn't want him to kiss me.

'You have a wife.' I stated bitterly.

I glanced at him, seeing him smile sadly. 'I know. I wish I didn't.'

I finally pushed him away, running away to the stairs. I couldn't wait for the elevator, and besides; I was only on the second floor. I wasn't supposed to strain my body until two weeks after the abortion, but I didn't care.

'Aki! Aki!' I heard his voice call.

I ran even faster, nearly tripping a few times. I saw the cab and immediately got in, slamming it shut and gasping out the address of my parents' home.

It was time to tell them.

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A/N: Done after an hour. X__X; I got the writer's block mid-way.

Thanks everyone!

Read and Review please!


	10. Chapter 10

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**Chapter Ten**

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'Keep the change.' I said hurriedly to the cab driver, he grinned greedily at me once I had spoken those words.

I stepped out of the cab, relieved when cool, fresh air filled my lungs. I never really liked that new leather smell of cars, especially since it was tainted with that wretched driver's scent of booze and cigarettes. My parents' home looked bigger than before, probably out of my fear. I tightened my grip on my son's urn, holding back the tears from falling.

My whole body felt limp and weak. I felt like stone, rooted to my place. But I forced my legs to move, and I realized that I was trembling. I laughed bitterly to no one in particular. I was the daughter of a senator, the feared Black Rose Witch who no man could lay a finger on. And now here I was, with the ashes of my dead baby in my hands.

'Aki.' a masculine voice called, and I cringed at the familiarity. He grabbed my arm, forcing me to face him again.

'Leave me alone, Yusei.'

'God, don't be so stubborn!'

'Stubborn?!' I screeched, heat rising in my body. I could feel it, this intense heat, this heat of hatred. And then I knew.

I hated him.

I hated Yusei, I hated Aya, I hated them. I wanted them dead, I wanted them gone from my life. I never wanted to see his forsaken face ever again, I wanted him to just go away and leave me be. No, that isn't so. I wanted to him to suffer. I wanted him to feel the same pain and suffering, the same unrequited love and longing that once filled me. I wanted him to know what it felt like to fall in love, and never get those feelings back, to never actually be held and whispered sweet words to, just to be used and fucked like a toy.

'I have been nothing but patient.' I said quietly, trying to maintain my cool. 'I loved you. I welcomed you in my home everyday, I let you do whatever you wanted to do to me. Do you know what that felt like?! Do you know what that fucking felt like, being forced to bed, being stripped of clothing?! And then you just expected me to take it, you just expected me to wait till you were done, and then you would just leave?!'

I felt tears roll down my cheeks. But this time he didn't wipe them away. He just stared back at me as if I had slapped him.

'That's not true.'

'Who are you to tell me what's real anymore?! I thought your love was real, I thought you were real! I thought you, the Yusei I had known, was still alive, somewhere in you! I thought you were still kind and gentle and, and...' I didn't even bother finishing my sentence. Actually, simply put, I couldn't. My voice was being choked by my tears, and my hatred. 'You're pathetic.' I continued, and I saw him flinch out of the corner of my eye.

'Why do you do this?' he asked quietly. I shook my head. He really was pathetic. He really was some poor excuse for a human being.

'Yusei, when you were with me, did you ever sleep with Aya?'

'What?' he scoffed, and I couldn't help but feel even more resent towards him. 'What are you talking about? Why are you asking me this?'

'Did you ever sleep with her when you were with me?' I repeated, firmer, stronger, more powerful.

'No.' he sighed, and once again, the light left in his eyes. That light that gave him life, that light that made him Yusei. It was gone, and he was now nothing but a shell of a person; lonely, sad, angry; just like I had been.

I smiled to myself in satisfaction.

But that smile left me, finally I realized that I had a point of information. My heartbeat went faster, picked up pace when I realized that I could win. Though Yusei could no longer be mine, I could at the very least shun Aya, unmask her to him. He could see her for the snake she was, for what a psycho her true nature is. At least, if I'm going to go down and be miserable, if I'm going to lose everything, she could crash with me. I'd take her to hell, the same place I was going. 'How many weeks was she pregnant?'

'About the same as you, from what I heard from Jack.'

I hesitated, not wanting to ruin Yusei's fairytale dream come true. His family, his "love", his "child". But then again, it was all fake so...? I figured life is easier to live a happy lie, rather than a sad truth.

But I went with it anyway.

Because I couldn't be the one to suffer, not when I had been wronged.

'If you never slept with her when you were with me.' I began, frightening myself with how sadistic I sounded. 'How could she and I get pregnant at the same time?'

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A/N: Ok, sorry if I don't update much anymore. I'm busy. I'll finish all the requests, but I think I have to finish this story first lol. xD; And yes, Aki is very different now.

Thanks everyone!

Read and Review please!


	11. Chapter 11

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**Chapter Eleven**

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'Do you really think it's your child?' I hissed in his face. 'Do you really think that Yusei? And did you think you could get away with being unfaithful to her, and to let me suffer? Well... There are a lot of other things about Aya you don't know. And I'm not going to tell you. You'll find them out one by one, slowly. And it'll hurt you just as slowly. It'll _kill _you just as slowly.'

Yusei looked at me searchingly, realizing his mistake. It was amusing to watch his face go through quite a bit of transformation in under a minute; confusion, anger, regret and finally, humiliation. It made me happy, inside.

I smiled in reality, physically showing him that I was pleased with myself. I didn't care if he saw it. I didn't care what he thought of me anymore. Probably because I didn't care about him now either. I was about to open my mouth, so that I could tell him what an idiot he was. I really wanted to tell him how much I hated him. I needed him to know that he was no longer Mr. Perfect, and he was now someone I dreaded most in the world.

But then I couldn't.

He propped down on his knees, his face tilted downwards. I couldn't see his eyes, only the bottom half of his face which consisted of his mouth and nose. His arms were limp beside him, and I gasped at how pained he looked. He didn't move for a very long time. He was just there, limp and tired and weak.

A long silence followed, and something wrenched my heart down. It was pain, excruciating pain, unlike anything I've ever felt before. Not even when I was called a monster by my father. Not even when I had been declared a witch. Not even when I had lost Divine, Yusei and my baby. My son. Our son. Not in those times have I felt such pain and hurt. It was insanity, it was blasphemy already. Was this all life could offer me? Pain and suffering?

Worst of all, I didn't know why I was so hurt. This is what I wanted; for Yusei to be in pain, just like I had been. Why couldn't I smile now, why couldn't I laugh now? Why did it hurt more, knowing I had caused it this time? But I had wanted this. I had wanted to make him die of misery, why was I feeling such guilt? Why didn't it seem like the same guilt affected him, who had done something far worse? Why didn't it seem like the same guilt affected Aya, who seemed to be deprived of guilt at all? Why could she still laugh, when she was the most horribly person to walk the face of this planet?

'This is the last time.' he whispered, and it was the only sound I could hear. The roaring of the thunder was droned out by my ears for some odd reason, and so was the heavy pitter patter of rain. The vehicles too, I could not hear. All I could hear was his voice.

'What?' I asked softly, and the smile disappeared from my face completely. Actually, just the tone in his voice made tears sting my eyes, threatening to fall and humiliate me again. Tears proved I could not be truly happy without him, and they made me look ridiculously pathetic. I didn't want to be belittled any longer. 'What did you say?'

'This is the last time.' he repeated, looking at me and smiling gently, sadly.

'What is?' I asked again, nervously. I didn't like that look of his, I didn't like it at all.

'This will be the last time you'll see my face.' he answered, his smile growing sadder. He stood up and looked at me straight in the eyes. He kept his smile. 'I promise. I'm sorry I made you so sad, Aki. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the happiness you deserve. I'm sorry to you and our son.' he gestured towards the urn. I glanced down at it for only a split second, but I saw my hands shaking. 'I love you. I'll _always_ love you. Please forget about me.'

He turned his back to me then, and he started walking away to his D-Wheel. Ah, I see. That's how he caught up with me so fast.

I let my tears fall down, knowing he could no longer saw me. Besides, it would probably mix with the rain and he wouldn't notice. This was the hardest trial I could ever face; losing him, driving him away by my own hands.

In all honestly, I wanted to run after him and wrap my arms around him. Then I would tell him that it was alright, and that I'd tell him anything he needed to know about Aya. Then I would tell him that it was ok if he hurt me, because I would always love him and I'd always forgive him. But I knew that he would not accept me again. I knew that he strongly felt that we should be apart. But I also knew that he was doing this with my best interest in mind.

That's what made it even harder. I wanted to scream that being with him was in my best interest. I wanted him to know that although we've been through so much torture, we could start over. I knew we could, but he wouldn't.

He suddenly stopped, and his shoulders shook up and down uncontrollably. My tears flowed harder. Was he laughing? What was so funny about it? And then I realized he was crying.

I cried more too.

I was still crying when he left.

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A/N: My brother always points out that my reviewers are smart. I'm always happy to see speculation and analysis of my stories, so don't worry about it. I enjoy seeing quite a lot of you try to figure out your own interpretation of the moral of the story, and I'm pleased that I am able to communicate with you guys as an author and as a person.

Usually, you guys just get the whole thing at the end. xD; At least, that's how it was in I Love You. So I am quite surprised to see that someone already got the meaning of this story;

Congratulations to "Someone.".

He/she reviewed:

"Oh the uncivil irony! The true woman--the woman who in fact legit and honest in her feelings and composure--is in fact the "other woman" while the fake copy parades as the genuine article. But, what happened to these: " "?

Well anyway, I think any story where Aki and Yusei engage in sexual acts and produce a child from such infractions should happen for real in the show! (although it is rather disheartening she miscarries)".

The first paragraph summarizes it; Be aware of what is real in your life. Who are really your true companions in life, and who are the snakes? You must be wary, for later on you might regret it, like Yusei in this chapter. Also, two wrongs don't make a right. Aki could have worked with Yusei against Aya, but she decided to have her revenge.

Whoa! Over 100 reviews! Thanks guys!

Thanks everyone!

Read and Review please!


	12. Chapter 12

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**Chapter Twelve**

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'Dear!' Mama cried when Papa had slapped me across the face.

I didn't blame him. I must have really disappointed him. I guess if my child had gotten pregnant without a husband, I'd be angry too. I didn't feel any hate for Papa. I could understand his feelings. Thinking back, I myself was a little disgusted at what I did. He must have been shocked. He was a senator, and I was his daughter and we were supposed to be dignified. I guess that wouldn't exactly be the way to describe myself right now.

'I'm so sorry, Aki.' he apologized. His voice shook, and I could see he was trying to restrain himself. These days, he was careful around me. Especially since we had never been close during my childhood. It made me happy that he didn't want to lose me, but it made me sad too.

_'Hit me.'_ I wanted to scream. _'Isn't that what I deserve? Hit me!.'_ I don't think I could ever rest at peace unless I paid for my crimes. But not because I had gotten pregnant. I wanted to get my just dues for making Yusei hurt so much. I was no better than Aya, probably worse. Worse, because I did it to hurt Yusei. All she wanted to do was make him happy, because I was too stubborn to see his feelings. Although she's psychotic, I think she had a better motive than I did.

'I'm sorry.' I whispered, mimicking him. I was the one who was supposed to apologize. My Papa is always busy, and he's always trying to do his best for me and my Mama. But I know my place. I know when I'm right and when I'm wrong. And it was painfully obvious who was the sinner among the two of us.

'We can work this out.' he panted, stroking the area where he had slapped me. 'Let's just... forget and move on. You're young and I wasn't there for you, this isn't all your fault.'

My eyes started to water. Why was everyone suddenly kneeling down to me and making me look like a saint? It was credit I didn't earn, a title I didn't deserve. Even if I was used, the fact of the matter was that I had allowed it. I was so scared of Yusei not loving me anymore, until I ended it myself. The stinging sensation in my eyes increased when I remembered the look he gave. It wasn't a very sad look. It was an apologetic one, filled with genuine concern for my well being. He really did want me to be happy, and I gave the wrong impression that he was the one person holding me back.

'Aki... Why are you crying?'

Although the male voice is very different from that of the female's, I couldn't tell who said that. Was it my Mama or Papa? I didn't know.

And so ignoring it, I just cried harder. Or rather, simply the flow of tears rushed faster. My face was like stone, with unmoving features and a dazed appearance. I wasn't opening my mouth to scream, I was closing my eyes to stop the stinging, I wasn't biting my finger in a pathetic attempt to stop sobbing.

Come to think of it, I wasn't even sobbing.

And so with the tears still rolling down my cheeks, I walked over to my room. I locked myself inside it, not minding the banging of my parents' fists on the door.

'Aki? Aki, please come out!'

Again, I didn't know whose voice it belonged to. And so I shunned it.

Like a robot, I reached under my bed for the small box I kept there. It was were I kept photos of my friends; Rua, Ruka, Jack, Crow, Tenpei, Bob, Patty and so on and so forth. At the very bottom was where I hid my favorite picture. I pulled it out, examining it with my unblinking eyes.

It was a candid picture of Yusei smiling. But a genuine smile, full of life and happiness. It was so unlike the one he gave me a while ago. I never really ever get to see him like this, and so seeing it again was like a reward for me, even though it wasn't real. It was just printed on paper. It wasn't how he felt now. I smiled back at him and held this sentimental piece of paper close to my chest, clutching it and probably wrinkling it a bit. I closed my eyelids then, allowing myself to experiences sadness and loneliness, whimpers escaping my lips.

'Yusei. Yusei. Yusei.' I chanted over and over. My heart felt heavy, but that was probably because it was made of ice. I was so inconsiderate, I was so horrible to him. 'I'm sorry. So, so, so sorry.'

He was probably talking to Aya right now, about her pregnancy. She'd tell him a lie, and he wouldn't believe it. Then she'd point out that he had no right to criticize her, because he had an affair. And then he'd calmly tell her that it was over, and he would leave her behind.

I ruined it; his fairy tale ending.

* * *

A/N: Yeah Aki likes beating herself up. That was on purpose.

And omg I got some CnC 8D She mostly commented on my style, but I registered it and tried to improve anyway. So I hope I did better, since I know I won't be able to perfect it so easily.

Thanks everyone!

And to answer some; Yes, there will definitely be a happy ending.


	13. Chapter 13

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**Chapter Thirteen**

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'Hello, you've reached the house phone of Aki Izayoi. The resident of this home is not present at the moment. Kindly leave a message after you hear the beep.' a mechanical male voice blabbed when I refused to answer the continuously ringing phone.

'Ms. Aki, this is Mikage Sagiri.' said the voice on the other end. 'I... Well, I heard about what happened with Yusei. I can't do much for you, but if you need comfort or anything else, please just ask me.'

'Shut up!' I screeched, picking up a random book and shoving it roughly at the answering machine. 'Can I ask you?! Can I really ask you?! Don't lie to me! You can't bring him back! No one can! Because _I_ drove him away, _I_ made him cry!' memories of Yusei's shoulders moving up and down as he cried brought tears to my eyes. 'Oh gawd... I made him cry.' I finally weeped, throwing myself on my bed and sobbing like a fool. 'Damn it, I made him cry, I made him cry, I made him cry.'

I was chanting the same four words over and over, hoping that by doing so, it would just become meaningless babbling. And when something becomes meaningless, it loses its importance. I wanted to believe that making him cry wasn't important, because it would mean that he wasn't important, and that I didn't love him. But the stupid fact was that I did. I don't care if he hurt me, I'll always want him back. I'll always want to see him smile and laugh and talk and be himself. Because I'll always want to love him.

I'm so pathetic.

'...So please don't hesitate to call me back.' my investigator friend finished. But my crying had not.

I really liked Mikage, we got along quite well when we first met. But at this point, I didn't care even if my own Papa was knocking at my door. I didn't want to live in a world without Yusei. It sounded selfish, and once again pathetic, but I have to be honest. If he wasn't with me, my heart ached. My feelings for him, I could no longer control.

Why did I have to wreck his relationship with his wife? Why did I have to do that? If my love was real, I would be wishing him happiness. But now I realize that all this time, I've just been waiting for him and Aya to break up, get a divorce. I was keeping myself in reserve for him. Yusei wasn't the one who saw me as an object. I did.

'I need to go for a walk.' I muttered, heading out the door. The world was still happy; children were playing, couples kissing, friends talking. Did I not deserve the same happiness they had? Was I doomed to be saddened forever, to lose everything and get them back, only to be lost again? Will this cycle never end? Will I never get anything I want?

I decided only to circle the park one time before I would go back. I made sure the door was locked, keeping the key in my pocket and hopping out to meet the chilly winter breeze. This was quite a winter for me. I had an affair, got pregnant, lost the love of my life and my child. Ah, well. It didn't matter. It only did to me. But I was nothing, and the world wouldn't be affected by me not matter how much I cry and scream.

And besides, I was already tired of screaming.

I warmed my hands with my breath, or at least attempted to. I had forgotten my coat. I wasn't really thinking, I just wanted to get out of there fast. When I was alone, without human contact nearby, I was left to think. And I didn't want to anymore. Not that I would want Divine back. I just didn't want to think.

_Yusei was crying._

_'Shut up.'_ I scolded myself, picking up pace.

_I made Yusei cry._

_'I said shut up.'_

_Even when Yusei always tried to stop my own tears._

'Stop it.' I whispered very weakly, just slinking to the snow on my knees. The icy coolness immediately pierced my skin, attacking my nerves and making my breath catch in my throat. People were staring, but I didn't care. I did care however, about crying in public. I was starting to hear murmurs, my eyes starting to water.

And so I ran back to my apartment, not bothering to take the elevator. I ran up the whole flight of stairs, I didn't care if my legs turned sore. I wanted to get away. Away from the laughing, sadistic people, away from the happiness, away from the children, reminding me of a child I had lost. Away from the world, hopefully.

Relieved when I had reached the front door, I took out my key impatiently. I fumbled with it at first, but I was able to get it open in the end.

And something wasn't right.

It didn't seem like something had been moved. But it didn't feel like home, it didn't feel cozy. I was nervous, I felt like some dark presence was in here. Dread built up in the pit of my stomach. And so, I reached for my son's urn. I held it tightly to my chest, hugging it somewhat. Whenever I felt frightened, I would hold him just like that. It soothed me, it calmed me. It made me feel like I wasn't alone, and when I walked with it, I felt like I was walking with my son.

I began checking all the rooms, drawers and even the balcony. Nothing had been moved. Nothing had been taken. But unbeknowst to me at first, something had been given.

The automatic sliding door to my bedroom slid open. My eyes grew wide. My breath stuck in my throat. My legs wobbled. My mouth hung open. My heart, my very soul, frozen. Every part of me trembled, every part of me filled up with fear.

In the middle of the room was a bloody wedding dress.

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A/N: Sorry to the Aya haters... But she's coming back. You know, I was actually really surprised at how much she was hated. I got people saying "Thank you for not putting her stupid face in this chapter." or "What right does she have, she's such a bitch!". I was really shocked. I was like "...My poor, poor, OC." lol.

Thanks everyone!

Read and Review please!


	14. Chapter 14

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**Chapter Fourteen**

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I set my son's urn down carefully, walking my way over to the dress slowly. I half expected something to jump at me, claw its way into my skin and finally end my misery. Well, actually, I wanted it. I wanted this to be the curtain call, or the grand finale. It could be the beginning of my death, and the end of my life.

My fingers ran over the smooth fabric of the gown. It was actually very beautiful, despite the blood covering half the skirt and sections of the torso. It shone, it sparkled. It was like a dream. But I couldn't shake off the feeling that this was an omen of bad luck. This blood, where did it come from? Who did it belong to? Was the one who once had it flowing through his or her veins still alive? Did I kill someone without realizing it? If not, then why was it here? Who put it here?

'Do you like it?' a woman's voice asked, and I turned to its direction.

'Were you the one who put it here?'

Aya nodded, and I felt a pang of pain when I saw how wretched she was now. Her hair that was once so silky was now stringy, clinging to her skin like she had just gotten out of the shower. Her brown eyes were now a grayish shade. They didn't go back to their green color. Her skin was now unnaturally pale, but not attractive either. It was like a ghost, like a demon who came to stalk you at night when you were all alone. She looked like one of those women who died by the hands of their husband, the ones that rose from dead to take vengeance upon them.

She was broken.

Perhaps my previous metaphor was dead-on. Perhaps, she had died by her husband's hands. Her being here could mean that he had finally rejected her. But of course, she wouldn't take her hate out on him. She would take it out on me. That was ok. I didn't want Yusei to hurt anymore. I'd gladly take it for him. And after all; I deserved it, didn't I?

'You witch.' she whispered, tears flowing out of her eyes. 'I hate you.'

'Are you going to kill me?' I asked, surprised at how calm my voice was. 'Whose blood is this, anyway?'

'It's your fucking son's.' she spat, and I jumped a bit. 'He wasn't cremated with all his parts in tact. I managed to get an arm or something, I couldn't really be sure what it was. It's hard to tell if it's just a fetus.' her lips turned up at the corners into a mischievous smile. 'Who knew there would be so much blood?'

Tears escaped my eyes. She was so cruel; so, so cruel. If I was going to be haunted by her presence, by her actions, by her intentions, then I didn't want to live at all. It was better that she get it over with. 'Why? Why did you do that? He didn't do anything, my baby didn't do anything. Why can't you even let him rest in peace? He never even had a name, he never spoke, he never heard "I love you.", he didn't get to do anything. Why can't you grant him a dignified death? Why would you do all that?'

'I hate you.' she repeated. 'I'm going to hurt you, in every way imaginable. I don't care what I have to do. I'm not going to kill you so easily. I'll continue my terrors until you take your own life, or at least until you lose your mind. At least, that's what I had originally planned. But...' she broke down crying, curling up into a little ball and sobbing uncontrollably.

'What happened?' I pressed, leaning into a wall and slinking down to the ground pathetically. 'What did I do this time? How did I ruin your life?'

'He didn't believe anything I said.' she choked, biting on her thumbnail. 'He said that because we both had affairs, we never truly loved each other. He said that he wanted to end it, so that we could both be happy. He said that because he cared for me, he wanted me to find my true love. He said that by staying with me, he was hurting you.' her voice became angrier. 'He said that he didn't want to hurt you anymore. But what about me? Didn't he know that he was all I had? I did everything just for him, I wanted things to be perfect. He and I would have been happy together, he-'

'Aya.' I interrupted. I was going to say something stupid, I just know it. But if I was going to die anyway, what the hell? 'You said you knew he was having an affair. Prior to that, you two were fighting. Correct?'

'What of it?'

'If you really wanted Yusei to be happy, then you would have worked it out with him. You would have seen how much he hurt inside, because at the same time, he didn't like the idea of betraying you. Your "perfection" is staying as a married couple with him, regardless of how the relationship itself is like. If you really wished him happiness, you would have done something to help him. But you didn't; because you were content with staying a couple. _You _were. Not him.'

'Shut up!' she screeched, standing up and throwing the bloody clolthing to me. 'You destroyed everything I built. It's all your fault! You're nothing but a witch! You bring people nothing but sorrow, and you don't care! You twist the facts to make people think you're a martyr, but you're not! You horrible, wretched witch!'

'If the only thing you're going to do here is try and humiliate me, kindly leave.' I commanded, my voice even more full of hate than hers. 'This is the last time you're going to push me around. We've both lost him. We've both lost this battle, so I see no need to subject myself to your spineless words any longer. Leave. Or I'll make you leave.'

'You're getting blood on your hands.' she pointed out. 'From the dress.'

'So what?'

Without another word, she took out a gun and pointed it at her head. I stared at her with my horror-filled eyes, the door to the room being flung open by the man we were talking about. With all my paranoia, it seems I had forgotten to lock my apartment door.

'Aya!' Yusei called, rushing to her side.

But it was droned out by the sound of a gun firing.

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A/N: Ok, I don't use quotation marks because I'm too lazy to click Shift all the time. Plus it ruins my writing mood, because I actually have to pay attention. See, when I write, I don't think. Not at all, I just write. I don't plan, it's like my fingers move on their own.

As for my writing style... Hmm, I can't give any tips to be honest. As for well I learned how to write, I really don't know. I'm glad you guys like my style, but I really can't give its origin. I really can't, because I don't know.

You know... I'm kinda sad when I get people saying stuff like: "Why do I even bother guessing what will happen? You're just gonna do something completely different and shocking anyway." I love it when you guys think. Because I seriously don't know what I'm gonna do, so your reviews give me ideas. xD; *shot*

Anyway, thanks so much everyone! This story has to end in a while, just a heads up.

Read and Review please!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen  
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I screamed. A loud, piercing scream.

There was blood all over the floor; Aya's blood.

I screamed even more.

'Oh my God!' I cried again and again, burying my face in my hands and emitting high-pitched sounds from my mouth. 'Why?! Why is this happening to me?!'

'Don't look!' Crow's voice rang, and I felt an arm shield my eyes. He held me down, the forcing me back when I tried to stand up. There were more voices; Ushio's, Mikage's, Jack's... Although I saw only Yusei enter the room, ironically, his was the only voice I couldn't hear. He was silent. Was he ok? Did Aya get to him? Or was he mourning over her? The thought made me laugh and sob at the same time, like a maniac. Amazing. Even when she was exposed as a psychotic bitch, even when she carried another man's child, even when she committed suicide in my apartment; he still chose her over me. It was simply amazing.

'Let me go! Crow, please let me go!'

'Calm down! You don't have to look at her!' he replied, straining to weigh me down. It was quite a difficult task to do, since he was shorter and lighter than me.

'Give me the fucking gun!' I practically begged, seething with hate and sorrow. Was this all there was to my life? Am I doomed to be forever be tormented by this? Why were the sadistic gods playing with me? Was this my punishment for hurting so many people? Was it all a lie when they all said I could turn back and be happy? Why, why, why?! 'I want to die! Let me go! Please, let me go, I want to die! There's nothing to live for anymore! I killed her! I killed Aya! I bludgeoned her! It was me, I did it, I killed her!'

'Don't be stupid!' it was Jack's turn to yell, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me. 'You saw what happened, we all saw what happened! She took her own life, you aren't to blame!'

'Why can't any of you understand that I saw myself die?! One wrong move, and it could have been _me_ lying on the ground right now! She killed herself because of _me_! I wanted to kill myself because of _her_! It was just a test to see which one of us cracked! Even if this isn't her literal blood on my hands, I still stained my skin of it! I drove her over the edge, if I just fucking kept my goddamn mouth shut, she and Yusei would still be together and happy and-' I couldn't continue anymore. I was quivering, I was shaking, I was trembling, but none of those verbs seem to accurately describe what was happening to me right now. It felt like my body was erupting, I couldn't stop and I just kept shaking. I managed to curl into a ball and sob, my tears flowing harder when I saw a bloody hand out of the corner of my eye. It was official; she really was dead. I had killed her. There was no excuse.

I killed her.

'Aya...' I finally heard that voice; that deep, smooth voice; Yusei's. He still cared for her. He still loved her. How terrible I am; still wondering whether he would choose her over me, when she was fucking dead. 'Was this the only way you could win?'

Win? Yes, win. Perhaps he was right; maybe she really did win. She had succeeded in driving me suicidal. I wanted to be nothing more but a lifeless corpse. I wanted to leave this world, I wanted to forget everything; I wanted to forget the tragedies, the past, the suffering; I wanted it all to go away.

It hurt even more when I realized that she loved him more than I did.

She was willing to go insane, she was willing to die if it meant that he could be hers forever. Surely, he would no longer want me, now that I had been labeled the cause of her untimely death. She was willing to do anything, she was willing to do absolutely anything for him. Would I be willing to accommodate him with anything as well? Would I be able to remain that patient, that loving, that perfect? Would I be willing to throw away my sanity? What's wrong with me, why do I fight for a love that I'm not sure is even true?

It seems that I was stuck in my dream world for far too long. Already, a siren could be heard. An ambulance had arrived, though of course they wouldn't be able to bring her back to life. However, Crow and Jack had never left my side. Why? Was the sight of Aya really so grotesque? Had she not, only moments ago, been beautiful and lively? How could everything be turned upside down so easily?

'Just forget about everything.' someone said. It was a male voice, but I couldn't even understand it that well. It was distorted. My head was pounding, my chest ached and my tears just wouldn't stop. My eyes were burning, my body was numb.

I myself was dying. But in my own little way.

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A/N: Ok... Very rushed, and I'll answer someone's question: Yes I proofread but I will absolutely NOT change them to quotation marks. I'm not here for some goddamn literary contest, I'm here to share my stories.

Also... Please. Don't force me to update. I'm experiencing some family problems right now, and I was crying and trembling while writing this. Please. I have a right to not update. And, I swear, push me to far, and I'll exercise my right to discontinue a story. I'm very broken right now. So please.


	16. Chapter 16

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**Chapter Sixteen**

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I wonder how long it's been. A day? A week? A month? A year? There was no way I could tell. No matter what the truth was, it feels like centuries since I last felt happiness fill my heart. How could this have happened to me? Well, it doesn't matter anymore.

You, Divine. You, Yusei. You, you, you. No matter what will happen, even if I like it or not, I will always belong to you. Because that is why Aki/I am here. That is why Aki/I exists. That is what Aki/I was made for. I am a toy to be played with, a tool to be used. That is my purpose.

'Aki, eat something.' Crow pressured me gently. 'You haven't eaten anything in two days. You'll get sick. Hey, c'mon. You need something in your stomach. If you catch something, heh, I don't know how long Yusei would stay mad at me for.'

Yusei. The mere mention of his name made me cry. It wrenched my heart, tore me down, stripped me of my self-esteem. It wasn't because I despised him, oh no. Quite the opposite actually. He hurt me, not because he intended to, but because I couldn't bear the truth that I had lost him, driven him away by my own hands. And Aya too. I killed her. I killed "them". I killed their life together, I killed their relationship. Although it was not a genuine relationship, I think it wasn't bad at all. He was happy with her. Perhaps not very happy, but still happy.

I often wonder what would have happened if I just kept my mouth shut about Aya's wrongdoings. No one's perfect, neither was she. I should have kept her imperfection, her insanity, her lust; all to myself. Maybe then Yusei wouldn't be so lonely. Maybe then he wouldn't be so sad. Maybe then he wouldn't have to suffer in silence, like I had for several months. Now, he's even worse than I was. And also, maybe his wife wouldn't have killed herself.

She had won. I see no reason to continue living. Why does my soul not listen to me? Why does my very heart not listen to me? Why does it insist on beating? Why do I insist on breathing? Why do I have no control over my body? Why can't it listen to me and die?

Sometimes, I fantasize about a knife being plunged into my chest. I don't think it would take long for my world to turn fuzzy, before my vision goes black. But I knew that as soon as it pierced my skin, I would be begging for it to be taken out, flailing and screaming and pleading and being a pathetic little girl. Everything is my fault. Poor little dead girl, ready to say she's sorry.

'Hey... Why are you crying?' the former member of Team Satisfaction asked me, reaching his hand out to touch my shoulder. I shivered from his touch, and I backed away. Everytime someone touched me, it burned. I always felt the need to scratch that area until the skin there turned raw.

'Leave me.' I whispered, but it sounded like a scream inside the quiet hospital room. It didn't matter. No one would hear me anyway. Whenever I went outside to walk during my pregnancy, whenever I waited for Yusei to come over and play around with me, whenever I held my tears back; I was always screaming. Always. And no one heard me. And, no one will ever hear me. When Divine would get angry with me and cover my neck with his fingerprints in black and blue as I lay on the floor trying to claw his hand out, I was always screaming. The people from the Arcadia Movement watched me. But no one helped. I could be dying and no one would care. I am dying and no one would care. I learned that the hard way. But I don't really care about that now either.

And yes, once more, I was in a hospital. It had only been around three days after my abortion, and already I had to deal with all this stress. I collapsed when the ambulance came for Aya, and they dragged me along with her to the hospital. It made me gag; the thought of being unconscious in the same room as the corpse of the person I had killed.

'Just eat.' Crow ordered once more, sliding some sort of stew across the table. I just stared at it blankly, not wanting to eat it, not wanting to even take in the sight of it. I wanted out. I hated this cruel game called "life". I sucked at it. 'I said, "eat".'

No response.

'Eat.'

Nothing.

'Eat, please.'

Stop telling me what to do.

'Eat, or I'll force it down your throat.'

Stop pushing me around.

'Aki, please eat.'

'Can Aya eat?!' I cried at the top of my lungs, facing him. 'Does she even have a mouth?! Will she be able to taste?! Will she be able to chew, to swallow?! Answer me!'

I seem to have startled him a bit. His wide eyes examined me for a moment, before narrowing in sympathy. Oh, shit. Don't give me all that "It's no your fault." bullshit. 'She's dead.'

'I know that! That's what makes me hurt even more; knowing that I killed her, and that I deprived her of everything life could offer. But I suppose that's ok, because she killed me too.'

'Shut up!' he yelled, grabbing me by the shoulders. My shoulders in turn burned as he touched them. I could feel his hands shake with the need to slap me, "knock me out of my senses". Why couldn't anyone understand that the reason I'm like this is because I've finally awakened to the truth? I'm a murderer. I was a murderer as the Black Rose Witch, and I'm a murderer now. The blood never left my hands. It just dried up.

'It's true though, isn't it?'

'Why are you acting like this?' he interrogated, his grip on me tightening out of frustration. 'You don't eat, you rarely drink, you don't really talk, you look at nothing, you look at space! What the hell is wrong with you, why are you doing this?! Do you know who you're hurting?! By acting this way, do you know who you're saying "killed" you?!'

'Aya. She killed me. But I'm not trying to get any support because of that. I just-'

'No! By doing this, you're hurting Yusei!' he interrupted, and I looked into his eyes with mine filled with confusion. Aya didn't kill me? Why is he saying that? Is he a fool?

'By doing this...' he continued, gazing at me hard. 'You're saying Yusei killed you.'

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A/N: It has been forever since I updated. Well, not really.

Once again, I must say thank-you to all those lovely pm's, all those voices concerned for me. Thank you all so much, it means a lot, I'm so sorry I never replied to any of them. I was just down is all.

Also, a message for an anonymous reviewer (betch won't tell me their username) concerning flaming another author. Please don't compare others to me, and please don't tell them their only second best to me. It's not nice, and it's not true. And it's mean. So please, refrain from that. We all have our different writing styles, so you can't expect everyone to subject themselves to copying me just to please you. There are probably also people who hate my style, so keep that to yourself please.

Thanks so very much, everyone. You're all lovely.


	17. Chapter 17

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**Chapter Seventeen**

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'What?' I asked, only loud enough to hear.

'By doing this, the person you're hurting most is Yusei.' he repeated, gazing at me hard, his hands on my shoulders planted firmly. 'He's blaming himself. I know he is. He's just that kind of person. He blames himself for not proving his love to you, he blames himself for not being able to see Aya for who she truly was, he blames himself for the damned state you're in now. And in a way, it really is his fault; he should have protected you, he should have chosen one of you to be with him, he should have chosen one of you, the one who he would devote his life to. But he couldn't; he tried pleasing you both and it backfired. He didn't even realize the... sexual abuse he was putting you through. He just wanted time with you both. And, he should have made a decision long ago.'

'But...' tears slid down my face again, stinging my eyes rather painfully already. I was crying so much, my eyes had already turned red and puffy. I looked like one of those women on Jerry Springer; you know them; the broken ones. The damaged ones.

This is the damaged me.

'But what?'

'No more.' I shook my head, my voice choking for the hundredth time. 'I don't want to live anymore. Nothing I do goes right; I tried distancing myself to make Yusei happy. But that didn't work. I tried making myself happy and get revenge; but look at where it's gotten me. And now, I'm trying so hard; so, so so hard; to finally give Yusei the peace he deserves. And now, to find out he's taking everything on his shoulders, being depressed? No more. I'd rather not see that look on his face; I want to see him smile and laugh and be himself again. And, I know it sounds selfish, but...' I swallowed. 'I want to be the one to give it to him. But now, I don't care if I can't be the one; I just want to see him happy.'

'That's right, that's right!' the short man laughed, shaking my lightly and grinning like a fool. 'You can give it to him. Really, you can. Aki, I'm a hundred percent sure you're in fact the only one who can bring a smile to his face.'

'No, that's not true. Ever since I've met him, even up to now, I don't recall making him happy; not once. And I'm certainly not doing that now. I've even sent him into his own state of darkness. I can't save him, even when he's saved me so many times. I wish I can, but I can't. I-'

'The only reason that's the case;' he interrupted. 'is because you yourself haven't gotten over your problems; how can one make another happy, if she herself isn't?'

'Stop trying to get me to do it.' I raised my voice a bit, my grip on the hospital sheets tightening. 'I can't.'

'But if you won't do it, no one can. And my friend; my friend, who has helped so many people; will never get the help he himself deserves.' as he said this, I saw his eyes waver a bit. His voice shook, and I began to wonder how the man we were talking about was now. Was he really such in an awful state? Had he really gone out of the blue, and into the black?

However, I couldn't deny that the thought of me finally bringing him joy appealed to me. It made me want to cry tears of satisfaction. I wanted to finally be his woman, and bring him something other people can't. The love from a spouse or a lover is different from love received from friends or family.

But he deserves better.

Even so...

'I'm scared.'

'Of what?'

'Of how his reaction to me will be. And of facing the true nature of my relationship with him now.' I whispered, hanging my head in shame. 'We never actually parted in good terms.'

'Please. Just try.'

As he said this, he went out of the room to fetch Yusei, I suppose. I fiddled with my hands nervously, not wanting to think about what might happen. If he rejected me one more time, I don't think I could handle it. Each time he did so, I felt like my heart, my very soul, was being beaten down, parts of it deteriorating. I wasn't sure if there was much left for me to withstand another heartache.

After what seemed like forever, Crow came back, accompanied by his close friend. Noticing how dark the room was, I could assume that much time has passed. It was early morning when I last spoke to someone, which was the founder of Blackbird Delivery.

I saw those cobalt blue eyes widen in surprise, his whole form stiffening. My gaze met his, and I tried to smile. Of course, I couldn't.

'I'll leave you two alone.' the shorter of the two stated, leaving as quickly and silently as he had come.

There was an awkward silence in the room. Neither of us knew what to say. Neither of us wanted to say anything, for fear of ruining our bonds to each other. In fact, there was hardly anything to ruin.

'Feeling better?' he cleared his throat, looking out the window.

'Yes. My condition has really improved.'

'I see. That's good.'

Silence.

'Crow told me you were asleep.' he continued. I felt my arms grow heavy. I guess he didn't want to talk to me after all. 'Anyway... I'll rid you of the burden of seeing me. I'll take my leave now.'

He spun on his heel, to the direction of the door.

No. Please don't go. I don't want to experience the feeling of you turning your back on me again, I don't want another heartache, I don't want this pain.

His back faces me.

Ouch. What is this? It's that pain again; stinging, piercing through my heart and making me weak to my knees. This is the pain of betrayal, the pain of losing someone, of seeing them leave and being unable to do anything about it.

His hand reaches for the door knob.

Why won't my body listen to me? When I had wanted to die, it insisted on breathing, my heart insisted on beating. When I had wanted to grab the gun from Aya, I was frozen in my place. Just like right now. And it doesn't help that I'm weak from my pain.

But I'll will it to move. I'll make it listen to me.

Fighting the pain in my joints and limbs, I darted from the bed and wrapped my arms around him from behind. It felt so warm, it felt good. It felt so relaxing, so joyful that I cried as soon as my fingers brushed his skin. I cried and cried and cried.

And I was so happy.

* * *

A/N: Hmm... No, this is not a solution to the problem. I simply tried to describe Aki's joy when she was finally able to control her life; this I tried to portray in her taking control of her body. Yusei still hasn't said anything, and I'll do that next chapter.

I'm not sure if I'll make a chapter with Yusei's thoughts. I might. Might not.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

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**

I awoke to the harsh white light of the hospital. I remember willing myself to move, to grab a hold of Yusei. I remember his back, cold and stiff like a wall separating me from him. I remember his scent, so powerful and warm, making me feel safe. I remember the heat radiating from his body, warming my own pathetic form. The image I had contorted in my head was so vivid, I could have painted a picture.

It made me sad. He was like a mirage; I see him, I can almost touch him, kiss him and hold him-but he's never really there. He's shut me out of his heart, his life. But I wanted to be a part of his world. I wanted to help him, even just a little bit, without bringing him down with my incompetence.

I couldn't move.

My whole body shook, shivering from the cold and from the intense pain that shot up my abdomen and my chest. I felt like I was being split in two, I felt like someone had poured kerosene over me and set me on fire. Tears blurred my vision, falling down the corners of my eyes. The salty liquid felt like acid on my skin, sizzling. It's not exaggeration to say that I couldn't breathe. I simply couldn't concentrate on doing so, the pain too great and overpowering. And then, I felt calloused fingers brush away my teardrops.

'Don't cry.' a heavenly voice said. My gaze shifted towards its direction; It was Yusei.

'You should be used to the sight of me shedding tears by now.' I had intended to sternly say. However, it came out soft. I tried swallowing, my throat was dry and my voice almost raspy.

'I always see you get hurt. That doesn't mean I like it.'

Silence befell the room. I didn't mind it, though I could see it made him quite nervous and jittery. I took the time to study each and every one of his features. His skin was a lovely tan colour, contrasting magnificently with the cobalt blue of his eyes. I felt as though I could drown just looking into them, drown with my unrequited love. Yes, that's it. Yusei made me feel like I was drowning, clinging to false hope, water filling my lungs bit by bit; a slow, painful death within the beautiful, vast ocean. So many people have told me not to venture into the water, not to go deeper, to remain in the shallow areas where is was safe. To remain friends, so I wouldn't get hurt. So what was it that drew me deeper? What was so alluring about the ocean? What made me want to swim further, even though I knew I would drown?

What made me think I could ever be welcome in the abyss, when I had polluted its depths and wrecked havoc among the creatures which thrived there?

What made me chase after Yusei so much?

'I'm sorry.' I finally broke the silence.

'For what?'

'For killing your wife.'

He rubbed his temples 'You didn't do it, Aki. It wasn't your fault. She was my responsibility. I should have looked after her more.'

This made me angry. 'And I wasn't yours to take care of?' I snapped.

'I never even knew you were carrying my child.'

'And if you did? Would you leave Aya for me? You wouldn't.'

'Who are you to make assumptions about me?'

'I'm Aki Izayoi. And I know for a fact that you would have stayed by her side.'

'Stop being difficult.' his voice threatened to rise. However, Yusei usually kept his cool about things. He didn't like causing a scene, nor did he like making someone feel as though they were being opposed. What a martyr. 'What basis do you even have to accuse me of that, to predict what I could do?'

'You're too kind to leave anyone.'

'But I left you.'

A pang of pain hit my heart just then. That was absolutely true. To me, Yusei is omnibenevolent; all good, all loving. But the fact of the matter was that although I was praising him as if he were a god, I had been victimised by him. Even so, I wanted him. I wanted him so badly, I was willing to risk everything I had. 'Will you leave me now?'

He didn't answer. He didn't even budge. At first, I thought that time had stopped. I couldn't even hear his breathing.

'With everyone's best interest in mind, I believe that it's better if I erase my existence in your life. It's better for you as well.'

'You don't know that.'

'I _do_ know that.'

'You saved me.' I whined, my eyebrows knitting together in frustration. Why didn't he understand me?

'And if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be in this situation.'

At this stage, I was desperate for him. I pushed my weight up with my elbows, biting my lower lip as my muscles contracted painfully from the effort. I wanted to be at eye level with him, so he could see me, see how much I needed this, needed him. 'Why can't you understand my feelings? Life with you is hard. Being by your side is difficult, and not for the faint of heart. When I try to follow you, one way or another, I trip and hit the ground. That's how I feel when I'm with you.'

'I know that.' he gripped the sheet. 'And that's why-'

'Can you imagine my life _without _you? Do you have any idea how much harder it would be? When I was pregnant and you weren't there next to me, I felt like my heart was going to break into tiny pieces on the floor. I felt like I was going to die. I felt empty, alone. I even wanted to welcome death!' I exclaimed in exasperation, smiling as more tears trickled down my face. 'This sounds melodramatic and stupid, but it's the truth! If you leave, will I be able to love you?'

'Well...' he said quietly, shell shocked at everything I had just said. His mouth was sightly open and his eyes were a bit bigger. 'If I leave, then we can't... be together.'

With those words, I broke into uncontrollable sobs. My body started convulsing from my physical strain, but I was soon engulfed by Yusei's arms. He cradled me gently, my head carefully tucked under his chin. I cringed at first from the sudden warmth, but soon basked myself in it. He felt strong and muscular, godly in his own right.

'If I can't love you, then there's just no joy in life. I'm never going to be complete. Please understand my feelings.'

_Understand my feelings as well._ I thought I heard Aya's voice say, far, far away.

* * *

A/N: I am ashamed to say that my vocabulary has passed away. Goddamn coursework.

I'm sorry for such long wait. I hope you guys won't come at me with a hatchet.

Thanks so much for the support, everyone! I hope you're all still there!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen  
**

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**

'You can stay in my room for now. I'll sleep on the couch tonight.' Yusei gestured to the small, plain bedroom. It was very organised, much like him.

I didn't want to stay in the hospital any longer. Simply put, I couldn't. The machines were deafening, the blinding white colour of my surroundings driving me mad. And it was quiet. Very quiet in a hospital.

Except for her voice.

Whenever I was alone, I could hear her. Sometimes she would be crying and sometimes she would be laughing. But she was always there, every single blasted time. It was maddening. I could have sworn I saw her silky hair billowing in the wind, her seductive face leering at me through my window. Her rosy lips had curved into a smirk, fire dancing in her amber eyes, mocking me. She terrified me, intimidated me. I couldn't sleep or eat, I was always looking for Yusei. Although things between us are still rough and awkward, I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to reconcile with him.

I was discharged, but I had nowhere to go. My apartment was under investigation, it was a crime scene and therefore off-limits. My fellow Signer insisted that I stay with him, and I agreed to do so. I couldn't bear to tear myself away from him. I couldn't bear facing my parents once more, I couldn't bear the accusing look of disappointment on their aged faces. Besides, being alone meant being at the mercy of Aya's haunting.

Tears welled up in my eyes, though I just sucked it up and pressed forward. I placed my small bag on a writing desk, trailing my fingers through its wooden surface. I didn't bring much with me. I only the clothes on my back and the sadness in my heart. My usual gothic dress was splattered with blood. It was a pity. I loved its intricate designs, the smooth, colourful fabric fitting me like a glove. It made me look different, it made me look special. At least, I had hoped it did.

Aya was special too.

She was so beautiful. One could hardly see a flaw in her perfect features, however fake they were. She was patient, loving and caring. She was determined and strong. She was so many things I had hoped to be. Even if she were dressed in rags and her skin covered in soot, she would most definitely still look magnificent. She didn't need anything to look special. She just was.

My eyes scanned the perimeter of the room, familiarising myself with it. Like a punch to the gut, Aya's godly face was smiling at me from a picture frame beside the bed. I must have been shell shocked, for I felt the handsome, cobalt-eyed being steadying me with his hands.

'Take that blasted frame down.' I begged urgently, my eyes as wide as the sun shining from the windowsill. 'Take it down. Please.'

Silence filled the air. It was deafening.

Like a robot, he simply let me go, heading towards the cursed photograph. After picking it up, he raised it high above the air before bringing it down with such force that the precious frame broke into tiny little pieces on the floor.

Without so much as a single word, he left the room.

As soon as I heard the door slam, I scrambled to pick up the crystal shards scattered on the surface. Some of it made small dents, chipping off some of the paint of the cold cement. I gathered the pieces in my hand, tenderly holding it next to my chest. It hurt a bit, the sharp edges digging its way into my skin.

I felt like I was holding Yusei's heart.

Right now, his heart is broken. Bits of it sparkled as tears would on someone's cheek. He had broken it himself; he raised it, brought it down, shattered it. Grief prompted his actions. Too many things were happening around him; Aya's death, my repressed hatred, the paparazzi at his heels, questioning him about his lifeless wife. And how was he supposed to answer them? How could he do that, without causing an uproar, a scandal? He was important in the dueling business; his eyes dazzled passers-by as they admired his flawless face stamped on billboards. His intimidating yet gentle demeanor was evident as one would watch the television. When he and Aya were still newly-weds, I would cry for him. I would cry because of the overwhelming sadness I felt, losing my chance with him. During those times, I would yearn for him. And when I desired his presence, all I had to do was flip to the appropriate channel and watch him as he strategically fought against his opponents.

Because he was so popular, a lot of people wanted to bring him down. The incident at my apartment had become the perfect bait for false rumors that could ruin his life.

I hid the shards under the bed, not really wanting to throw them away. One day, I would finally be able to mend Yusei's damaged heart. I'd start as soon as I could, I'd be there for him always. I'd be the person I aspired to be. I wouldn't cause him anymore pain.

When Yusei is happy, I am happy as well.

One day, I would be able to turn his open wounds into hardly noticeable scars, instead of rubbing salt on it with my insensitivity.

We could be happy again together. Just like before.

But it was that night that the nightmares started.

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much everyone, for all of your support! Thanks for still being here, after such a long time. You guys are simply lovely.

Ah, 200 reviews. Thanks so much!

I wish my vocabulary was wider, so I could be able to show my appreciation without smothering you all in a gigantic hug.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty  


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Drip, drip, drip.

The darkness of the night engulfed the entire world, save for the moon's radiant beam glowing eerily through the window. Nothing was moving, everything had gone to rest. Everything was silent, still. The only sound I could hear was that of water dripping from a faucet. The cool air caressed my skin, making me shiver and tremble in frozen fear and anxiety.

It was maddening.

I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to. I was in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar belongings while I lay on an unfamiliar bed. I didn't feel safe, I didn't feel secure. Perhaps it was partly because Yusei wasn't with me. It may be true that he's within the same shelter, but not having him beside me was a thought that made my stomach twist sickeningly. It brought back plenty of memories; love, betrayal, lust; all of them were piling up inside of me, a gagging feeling at the back of my throat.

What's more, every time I closed my eyes, I saw her bloody form grinning at me._  
_

I couldn't take it anymore. Mechanically, I stood up and headed to the bathroom. I washed my face, examining myself in the mirror. I looked like a fright; there were dark circles under my eyes, my hair clung to the wet skin of my cheeks. I was wearing nothing but undergarments and a baggy black shirt; compliments of Yusei. I looked as if I could be out on the streets; I could pass for someone who was stricken by poverty.

Unlike her. She would still be stunning.

As soon as those thoughts began to resurface, I slapped myself on the cheek. I had to get a hold of myself. I couldn't be at her mercy forever, I couldn't be controlled and put down by her haunting. It was funny in a way; even after death, she still has such a chilling effect on me. Was it her beauty? Was it her cunningness? Was it her impressive acting skills? Or maybe it was just the fact that she bore unwavering hatred towards me.

I laughed bitterly to myself. It was simply amazing; without the aid of morphine and several other medication that only hospitals were authorised to distribute, I was unable to fall into slumber because of her. The corners of my lips twitched in true amusement. She was simply unbelievable.

I couldn't bear looking at myself any longer. I was so ugly. Ugly, ugly.

I decided to pay Yusei a visit. The garage wasn't very far off the rooms and I was sure I could make my way through the darkness. With this in mind, I crept down the corridor, trying to find my way along the maze of a "home". Who knew that Poppo Time was so complicated underneath? I slowly began to wonder why such a compound could have something like this beneath it anyway. Perhaps Zora and her family used to live here. But then again, they could have at least built something simpler.

Or maybe they wanted to hide from the world.

They had no reason to, but it was a thought. I myself would have liked to have gone into hiding here.

When I had reached the large area in which Yusei took care of his D-Wheel, I spotted him right away. He looked tense even as he slept, his eyebrows furrowed sternly. His muscular arms were folded behind him, supporting his head as the couch didn't offer much comfort. I smiled despite myself.

My fingers ran through his hair, traveling lower until I eventually cupped his cheek in my hand. He felt warm and nice, his scent sent a small tingle of happiness throughout my entire body. He was so handsome, he was such a dream.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I was trying to suppress them, keeping that smile on my face. I would never look at him with a sad expression ever again. I would always look at him with a smile even though my heart was breaking inside. I couldn't bother him with my idiocy, my grief, my pain.

But everything was fine now. Aya was dead, Yusei was willing to try and reconcile with me, I was no longer burdened with the humiliation of pregnancy without the support of a father.

And yet, my son was still dead, Yusei was still sad, Aya continued to haunt me.

And I was still lonely.

As soon as I felt a single drop of water slide down my cheek, I buried my head in his neck. At the very least, if I did cry, I wouldn't have to meet his gaze. My body convulsed, I was no longer able to control myself. My heart felt like it had been ripped in two, my screams were still unheard. Even though they were silent, they were screams all the same; screams for help, for love, for understanding.

'Yusei... Yusei...' I chanted over and over. For some reason, by doing so, I was able to stop the tears from falling.. I raised my head just a bit, resting the side of my face on his chest. His own heart beat against my ear, its steady rhythm somehow soothing me.

'It's ok to cry, you know.' his familiar voice whispered, his finger tilting my chin up so that I could meet his stare.

'But...' my lips quivered, more and more small streams of water slithering down my skin. I wanted to move, but his hands had found their way to the sides of my face, keeping me locked in placed. I gave up. I simply let myself sob in front of him, whines escaping my lips every now and then. 'It hurts. I don't know why, but it hurts. I should be happy but I'm not. I hate myself and I hate how things have become. I want to be at peace with things again! I love you, Yusei. I really do. I love you so much that I'd do anything for you. I love you so much that I don't care if you don't love me back. I love you so much that just the sight of you makes my day. I love you so much that this pain constricts me. I hate how much suffering I've caused you! Please forgive me! I don't want to see you unhappy. I'll be unhappy for you, so I don't want you to feel that way anymore! Please forgive me, please forgive me, please forgive me...'

I gripped his wrists, trying to force them down, trying to get him to release me. I couldn't be this near to him anymore, it hurt too much. I felt so bad, I wanted to die. I wanted to run away. I couldn't do this, I was so ashamed of myself.

I'm no longer "pure".

I've allowed my body to go through so much. My personality was horrible. I ruined his relationship with his wife, I did it because I was angry.

I did it for revenge.

How could I seek revenge on him and still have the gall to say I love him?

I felt his lips brush my jaw, and I flinched. I was afraid. What would he do to me? I'm sure he knows as well as I do that I'm the absolute worst person in the world. He couldn't want me. That very thought was enough to send me into the darkest abyss of fright.

'I have long forgiven you.' he said, his voice wavering a bit. My eyes opened, my vision met with his handsome facial features. 'Just as you have forgiven me.'

'But why?' I asked. He was kind; far too kind. But he meant it. I know he meant it. He would never lie to me, he would never lie to anyone.

'Because I love you.'

That's what he said before his lips pressed unto mine.

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much, everyone! I'm so happy to still have all your support.

Now I must say... All my stories are on hold until I finish this. I may update one of them, but it's once in a blue moon. I'll try my best to update, since it's Easter Break and since my family is away, I can't leave the house haha.

I believe this is finally a catalyst for the story... Aki is mad. She's not completely mad, but she sort of is. From here on out, she must learn to accept things and live with them; not just the bad, but also the good. I doubt she will be able to gain her sanity back all at once, but one day she will.

So for everyone who's been begging for faithshipping moments of happiness and caring, the next chapters will definitely have more of those.

But there's still the problem of Aya, so everything isn't completely happy.

The story is coming to a closure. Please be just a bit more patient!

Thanks so much again, everyone!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One  


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**

Bright rays of sunlight pierced through the several windows around the garage, causing me to stir uncomfortably.

The couch was never made to be used as a bed, let alone one to be shared by two people. My body felt like heavy lead, it was hard to move my arms and legs without creating some sort of discomfort for myself. I could hear my bones cracking from being so stiff the entire night. It was unpleasant and disturbing, but I had a smile on my face.

I tilted my head a bit so I could gaze up at the very person who I'd endure all hell for. His face was peaceful, tranquil. The soft setting of his lips gave him a childish aura, innocent and content. My heart welled up with joy just looking at his expression, the solitary light within the sea of darkness my life had become. It was all I could do to not kiss him right then and there. Instead, I settled for slithering my arms under his, wrapping them around his muscular frame. I pressed myself onto him, his scent strong and comforting. The head radiating from his body sent a lovely sensation coursing through me. It's as if I had finally discovered fire after staying too long out in the cold.

'Is something wrong?' his masculine voice suddenly murmured, his hand maneuvering itself from my sides to stroke my hair lovingly. Gripping my waist with his free limb, he raised himself from the furniture, taking me with him. Now he was sitting up with me seated at his lap. I blushed involuntarily, bowing my head to avoid him seeing the evidence of my infatuation with him.

'No... I was just cold.'

'Sorry. I should have given you something thicker to wear.'

'No, it's fine. Really.'

An awkward silence befell us, and I could feel him growing more and more guarded by the second. I knew he still didn't want to open up to me, mainly because he thought that by doing so, he was hurting me. But still... I loved him.

'Aki-'

'I'm going to make breakfast for us now. We're the only ones here, right? So an imaginary chef isn't going to cook something up, you know. I'd better get to work.' was my chirpy interruption. I beamed at him with my best smile, hoping he would buy the act. Before he could say anything else, I jumped off of him and rushed to the kitchen.

I knew what he was going to say just then.

He was going to try and start a serious discussion with me about how we couldn't be together despite our love for each other. He was going to persuade me to back off and move on. He was going to tell me that even if my lips say I could never be happy without him, I was strong and I could find someone else. He was going to tell me how much he cared for me, using that as the reason as to why he was driving me away.

Cooking would soothe my mind; when I was his mistress, I would always prepare dishes in order to escape from reality. It had become an odd hobby of mine, and I gained culinary skills worthy of praise. I allowed myself a sly smirk. I couldn't wait to see his blue orbs widen slightly in delight at how much better I've gotten. He had always loved to eat, though it certainly wasn't obvious. I knew for a fact that while he was preparing for the Grand Prix, he would usually spend his days off from work modifying his D-Wheel. But he always had little breaks in between to have something to eat, something home-made of course. When he and I were meeting up due to him preparing me for my license, his face always lit up like a child when I had made him something to munch on. Strangely enough though, he never really like gourmet food. He described it as "bland".

I gathered several utensils and ingredients, eager to please him. However, I was unsure of what to serve to him. I ran through the different possibilities in my head; Maybe just scrambled eggs? That didn't seem to be very filling for breakfast, though. And it wouldn't provide me much of an opportunity to showcase my talents. What about vegetables?

'How sweet.' she whispered in my ear. Her sultry, seductive voice was coated in sugary venom, chilling my blood.

Even if I couldn't see her, I knew she was there. Behind me. Breathing down my neck. I could even imagine her lips curving upwards at the corners into a sly smirk.

'You think he'll continue playing "Happy Couple" with you for long? I don't think so. You're going to kill him, witch; If not with your horrible powers, then with the wounds you so carelessly continue to inflict on his heart. 'Her words were like bitter poison, intoxicating me, persuading me. She truly was a siren; it was as if she could control your thinking, as if she were charming you with magic. She was hard to ignore and difficult to defeat. She was a monster.

My legs started to give way, but I kept my ground by steadying myself with my hands on whatever surface I could grab hold of. 'Go. Away. You're dead, non-existent. Leave, you don't belong here.'

'Death is not the equivalence of being forgotten.' she laughed just then, a horrible odor invading my sense of smell. Her breath reeked of rotting flesh, her hair which once smelled like lilies now carrying the stench of blood.

Tears sprang to my eyes. My entire body was shaking in terror, my mouth uttering nonsensical words. No. This can't be. She's still here, but why? Why won't she just leave me alone? Why can't she die?! 'Yusei... Yusei... Help me...' I wanted to scream, though it came out as barely audible moaning. I couldn't take it anymore. I was going numb, I was light-headed, I felt like throwing up. It was like being in a horror movie, a never-ending cycle of frightening haunting by an insatiable psycho.

'Yusei? You're calling for Yusei? Why are you calling for the man who so foolishly awaits his lover and murderer with a smile?'

'W-what?' Her sentence was like kerosene on fire, setting me ablaze with self-loathing.

'You're his lover now, are you not? In place of me? But you are also his murderer, right? He's dying away, you're tearing off his heart, his soul. Do I need to repeat myself? "If not with your horrible powers, then with the wounds you so carelessly continue to inflict on his heart." Either way, he shall die by your hands.'

Stop it.

'Just as I have died by yours.'

* * *

A/N: I hit writer's block. But I got out!  
Right... Well... I'm not quite sure what to say.

I've noticed that for some chapters, most of the reviews are readers' interpretations of the chapter. I'm so happy that you guys don't take some scenes literally, and so pleased that you're all trying to understand the characters.

At first, everyone sided with Aki.

But it's interesting to see it divided now between the three; Yusei, Aki and Aya. Yes, Aya. Some people understand Aya. I know right? There are even one or two who are unable to decide, or are neutral.

I'm very happy.

Thanks everyone again so much!


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two  
**

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It was painful because it was true.

Her distorted laughter was making me uneasy. I could feel her leering at me, burning eyes targeting the back of my head. It froze me in place, I was unable to even think about what to do. I could already taste the sickening blood building up at the back of my throat, threatening to spew out any minute. Water was building up in my eyes, the shaking wouldn't stop. I was going to collapse, fall over and die of fright.

Please no.

I wished for anything to bring me back to the real world. I wanted to leave this unexplainable space in between reality and insanity which allowed me to talk to a dead woman.

But she was so real.

She had a mind of her own, she was right in everything she said. I was no good for Yusei. All he could do with me was wallow in his own pathetic sorrow. Sorrow I caused. Pain I inflicted. Tears I brought.

'When he touches you, his skin burns. When he speaks to you, his throat is lodged with anger. When he kisses you, his lips are dry and unloving. When he made love to you, there is no warmth in his embrace.' Aya taunted, her voice like sugar mixed with poison. 'There is no love for you. There is only pity and sympathy.'

I wanted her to shut up. But I couldn't stop her. I hated her words, it was like I was being tortured slowly. I could feel the healing gash in my heart opening up once more, stinging my chest with excruciating hurt. It caught my breath, it pricked my eyes like needles. I could feel myself choking in despair. My body temperature rose with humiliation mixed with frustration.

I didn't want to think about how much of a burden I was to him. I knew my presence disturbed him, reminded him of his many mistakes. He was tired of me, tired of dealing with all the grief he could possibly imagine. I could almost break him with my idiocy.

'Or don't tell me...' she continued. 'That you like the pain? Are you a masochist, Aki?'

Her witchy chortles threatened to drive me over the edge. She was insane, absolutely insane. Her malice was undeniably demonic, she couldn't possibly be human. No single person could be motivated to torture so much, to haunt. She couldn't just leave me be; she had to remind me over and over again about how horrible everything had become for me. Why? She was dead, she should be in the underworld. Why does she continue to tear away at my soul, why does she continue to feast on my suffering?

Please. I didn't care what it was. I needed something to bring me back to my senses, something to take her away from me.

My prayers were answered.

My hands started tingling with a burning sensation.

The stove was burning them.

I shrieked, pulling my hands back and attempting to run cold water over them. I winced as I touched the faucet handle. Even contact as miniscule as that sent a frenzy of unbearable electrical charges coursing through my veins, suffocating me. To my horror, there was a sizzling sound when the clear liquid coated my skin, making me bite my lip in agony. The coppery taste of blood coated my tongue, driving me mad with terror.

I was panicking, adrenaline rushing through my system. How bad was the damage? Parts of my palm and fingers were blistered, others turning a light pinkish colour. It would all heal in time, though the process would be aggravating.

A pair of strong, muscular arms wrapped around my waist, followed by a pair of soft, gentle lips grazing my cheek. I started trembling in relief, pleased that he had replaced that dreadful woman. 'Aki... Are you ok? What happened?'

Tears of joy slid down my face, pale from fear. I smiled widely, pressing myself onto him and letting the heat radiating from his body fill me and comfort me. Before I could reply to his question, he had already spotted my injuries. He stiffened and released his grip on me, swiftly stepping in front of me and grabbing my hands. He wore a look of confusion mixed with worry and disapproval, as if he were a parent scolding a child. Unbeknownst to him, he was actually stinging me. I yelped, unable to handle the burns.

'Aki. What happened?'

'Umm... I was just being careless.'

His hard gaze pierced right through me, his eyes calculating and analysing my every movement. He knew that there was something wrong. I, of course, didn't budge. I couldn't tell him about what just happened. He would think strangely of me. He would know that I was mad. He would know that I still wasn't over what happened in my apartment. I didn't want him to know my madness, my slow mental decay. Because he would remedy all of that in time.

'Aki. _What happened_?'

I couldn't hear him properly. His voice came out distorted and low. I could barely make out what he was saying. Or perhaps I wasn't paying much attention to him.

I scanned the room for any signs of the woman who had allowed him to become a widow, but couldn't find any trace of her. I felt the corners of my lips twitch at the edges, forming a mad smile. To my surprise, I started laughing mirthfully.

She was gone.

I bellowed even harder.

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A/N: I have English coursework again, so updating will be slow. Oops.

Thanks so much everyone, for being so patient!


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty Three**

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I looked up to see cobalt blue orbs gazing down at me, several emotions showcased in its beauty. I could see sadness, guilt, pain... and something else. But what was it? It didn't matter. I didn't care. I was so sick of everything, so sick of the endless suffering I had to go through. I don't want him to look at me like that... I...

_'Yusei.' Aya whispered, kissing him fully on the lips._

I wanted him to look at me like how he looked at her. I wanted him to look at me like he really loved me. I wanted him to look at me like I meant something beautiful, something special. I didn't want him to look at me with negative emotions coursing through his veins, as if I had caused him all his grief and loneliness, as if I were responsible for the destruction of his happiness. But I was, wasn't I? I kissed him, held him, _made love _to him... to get close to the deepest depths of his heart and take away everything that meant anything to him.

_'Hi there, stranger.' he responded and looked at her with eyes full of love and warmth._

'I...'

'What?' he whispered, brushing his fingers ever so lightly on my lips. They quivered from the sudden contact, the sudden tenderness. His skin felt like fire, burning me from the inside out. He was too warm for me, too kind, too gentle, too devoted... too good. He says that he loves me, and I can't deny that I love him too. But if I truly loved him, I would put him before myself. I would secure his own well-being before mine.

She would never leave me alone until he was at peace without me.

Without really thinking, I locked lips with him. He seemed surprised, stiffening at first. After a while, he returned my kiss, his hand at my back while his other gripped the fabric at my waist. It felt amazing being in his arms, being like this with him. His scent intoxicated me, his aroma sexy, spicy and appetizing, much like his taste. I tried to inhale as much of him as possible, as a child would try to greedily eat as much of his birthday cake so that no one else could have any. I don't want to share Yusei with anyone. I wanted him all for myself; those sacred blue eyes, those compassionate lips, that scorching skin, that mellow voice... I wanted them all for myself. I wanted him so badly that it scared me. It was so like him to be the only person in this world able to spark a passion in me so strong, it was like wildfire.

Today. Today, I would take as much of him as I could. Today, I would be his and he would be mine. Today, no holds barred. Today, I would have my last dose of him.

I had to. It was the right thing to do. He'd constantly be on a seesaw between anger and hurt if I stayed with him. He'd be berated by the public, by the media, if anyone found out about our love. Not only would they criticise his engagement to his wife, but would label him a womanizer. Endless tabloids and interviews would flood him. Jack, too, one of his true friends. Jack would never let him live it down, let me live it down. This was better.

I kissed him more vigorously now, gripping his shoulders and practically throwing my pathetic body at him. My bruises and cuts stung like a thousand gunshots, and I gasped from the sharp discomfort.

'Are you hurt?' he asked quietly, cupping my face with his hands. He was so loving.

I didn't answer. I just pressed my lips against his once more as the tears slid down my cheeks. 'Don't talk. Just feel.'

'Wait.' he started to protest, but I wouldn't let him. My hands were already up his shirt, his skin scorching me once more. 'No. Aki, this isn't right.' What a gentleman.

'I know that.' I breathed, not daring to look at him. 'But I want it. I want _you_, so, _so_ badly.'

What a sweet sin this was. Whenever he'd begin to protest, I'd cut him off with my mouth over his. Whenever he would try to shake me off, I'd hold onto him with my weak form. Whenever he would stare at me as if commanding me to stop, I'd smile and completely shrug his look off. I was feeding my lust for him shamelessly.

'Aki, no.' his cheeks were flushed, a rare sight to see in him. He was usually so calm and collected in bed.

'Just today.' I begged, pleading to him with every fiber of my being. 'Please. I want you now.'

'You're just saying that now. But by doing this, you're just making me hurt you. You're not thinking straight, I-'

'I'm not a child!' I glared up at him. 'I know what I want. Make me forget, even just for a little while. Make me forget about everything that's happened, with your embrace. Make me forget about Aya, about our son I never knew and never will, about the sting of betrayal. Make me forget it all.'

Hot tears blurred my vision and I turned my head away from him, but the tips of his fingers gingerly pushing the direction of my face back. I had no choice but to peer up at him. 'No, I don't want to look at you. I might cry again.'

'And what's so wrong about crying?'

'It's ugly.'

'No, it's not.' he leaned in closer, so close that I could feel his breath on my chin. 'You're cute when you cry. But you're beautiful when you smile.'

What happened after that cannot be described in words. I felt him, all of him. And this time, it wasn't just empty intercourse without any sentimental value. I could feel everything he was feeling, it was as if we shared the same heart, the same soul. I didn't want it to end, but it had to.

'I thought that by showing you how much I love you, you'd stop crying.' Yusei chuckled, brushing stray hair away from my eyes and wiping my tears away with his thumb.

'I didn't even know I was crying.' I sniffed, snuggling closer to him. 'I'm just so happy.'

'I am too.' he pecked my lips over and over again, laughing his heart out. I fought back my whimpers, trying to marinate in this happiness. I shut my eyes, trying not to look at Aya as she sat behind Yusei, chewing on her fingernail anxiously. It didn't matter. Soon, I would never see her again. However, I would never see _him_ again either.

'I love you, Aki.' he mumbled, clasping his hand around mine.

'I love you too.' was my reply as I watched him drift off into the land of dreams. He looked so peaceful when he slept, almost child-like. His lashes cast shadows on his skin, his lips slightly parted. The bedsheets only reached up to his waist, and I could see his well-toned and muscular body molded with his tan skin. He looked like a god. No. To me, he was a god.

When I was sure he was in deep slumber, I crept away from him slowly, inch by inch. Daintily, I propped myself up on the bed and stood up, brushing my fingers momentarily over my muddled hair.

'Where are you going?' Aya asked, a hint of venom in her voice.

'It's ok, Aya. I won't bother you ever again.'

I got dressed as quickly as possible, packing a few things into a bag. I was all set to go. I reached for the doorknob, gripping it tightly. But as I attempted to rotate it with the movement of my wrist, an alarm resonated louder than a concert. A pang of surprise hit me, and another followed as something whipped me around from behind and pushed me to the wall. In nearly no time, I was face to face with-

'Where the hell do you think you're going?' Yusei demanded, banging his fist on the wall.

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**A/N**: It's been forever since I updated, but I promised that I would finish this story... and I will. :)

Thank you so much for the lovely messages wishing me well, and the reviews analysing and commenting on this story. I won't let you guys down. There will be a happy ending, and I will finish this.

Thanks everyone, so, so much! Thanks for being so patient and for staying with me! You guys are just, stunning!


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four  
**

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'Where the hell do you think you're going?' Yusei demanded, cobalt blue eyes raging like azure fire. I could do nothing but stare up at him with wide eyes.

His glare pierced right through me, making me uneasy. His eyebrows were furrowed angrily, gritting his teeth so hard it looked as if he were snarling. His cheeks were flushed, and his muscles from his neck to his waist were flexed, tense. I thought he would bite me any second now. In response, I bent my knees ever so slightly and shrank beneath him, cowering in anxiety and guilt. He looked so angry. I didn't want him to look at me that way. It hurt me, knowing that I made him this way.

'I was... I was just...'

'Trying to run away?' he finished for me, inching closer. I could feel his hot breath on my lips, his hand tilting my chin up to meet his gaze. This was impossible. How did he know? How could he read me so easily? Why wouldn't he let me go?

'Just ignore him and leave.' Aya commanded from behind him, tight-lipped. 'Push him away and head out the door. It's not like he can tie you up and keep you here. Go. Now.'

'Why would you do this to me, Aki? Was this your plan all along? Were you really seeking to abandon me after making love with me?'

'That wasn't love. That was just her trying to get her last taste of your body.'

'Shut up!' I screamed, turning my head away from the Signer and towards the long-haired lady. 'That's not true! Don't talk about me like that! I'm sick of you making it seem like all I want is his image. I don't! I want _him_.'

'Aki, who are you talking to?'

'If you really want him, then grab him from me! Tear him away from me! But you can't even do that, not even when I'm _dead_! In death he will be mine, he _is _mine and nothing you do will ever change that because you're too much of a coward to grab the slab of fresh meat dangling right in front of you! You're scared that there may be an underlying trap! And why? It's because you feel as though you don't deserve him! And you know what? You really fucking don't!'

'I know that! Of course I know that! I've always known, and it'll haunt me forevermore! But I want to be happy, even just this once! With-'

'I figured something like this would happen.' Yusei snapped, grabbing my face with one of his hands, forcing me to peer into his furious blue orbs. 'I figured you'd try and leave me again. That's what you always do... You make me believe that you love me and then you just leave me!'

'I have to!' I choked on my tears. 'Trust me, this is all for-'

'Trust you? _Trust_ you? You want me to_ trust _you, Aki? How can I? How do you expect me to? You don't even explain yourself! You just do things without telling me! If you want me to trust you, then you have to trust me first and tell me what the fuck you're doing and _why _the fuck you're doing it!'

'I don't want to hurt you!'

'And don't you think you're hurting me now? Fuck this! If you don't feel the same way about me as I feel about you, come out and say it! If you're still pissed off at me for committing myself to another woman, just say so! Don't keep me hanging by a thread of hope which I so desperately cling onto. Come to a conclusion and condemn me to rejection! Do anything you want, but stop manipulating me!'

'I'm not trying to!'

'Then is this about Aya? Are you seeing her? Aki, she's dead! She's gone! Whatever hallucination you're seeing of her isn't real! Do you know why she's here? Well? Do you? It's because you like hurting yourself so much! You like blaming yourself so much! Stop torturing yourself with the past and start living in the present! None of it was your fault, none of it.'

'If she isn't real, then why is she here? Do you think I _want_ her here? Do you think that I'm _that_ much of a masochist?'

'If she's really here, then why the fuck can't I see her?'

I looked at Aya, seeing her figure paling and growing even more haggard by the second. She returned my glance with sad, lifeless eyes. Her white lips parted and her voice came out raw and gruff, "Do you know why ghosts are restless? It's because when their human forms depart this world, there is nothing left of them except the pain left in the hearts of those they leave behind. Why do you keep me here? Why do you bombard me with so much hatred? I get the message, Aki. He chooses you over me. Now let me go, to suffer my eternal punishment for I am sure that whatever Hades has in store for me isn't even half as bad as seeing myself lose to you time and time again.'

'She gave up her life for you.' I said softly.

'And I gave you up for her, long ago.' he responded, pressing himself against me. 'You, who means more to me than my own life, I gave up and reconciled myself to locking my heart away.

My body was enveloped by his strong, muscular arms. I could smell his intoxicating aroma... He was like a drug. My drug. Immersing myself in him drowned me in a sense of euphoria, my own personal high. However, just like any addiction, he could do nearly nothing to solve the real problem, the real cause of effect, the effect of pain. What about him? What was the core of his pain? Was I his agent of enlightenment. Yes, I was. I watched from his shoulder as his deceased wife faded away slowly, particles of her joining with the wind until she completely vanished.

Goodbye, Aya.

* * *

**A/N**: Patience, guys! The story is coming to a conclusion; one cannot tackle a big problem all at once. We go for small sections of the ordeal until we finally resolve it. The issue of Aya, for instance, seems to have come to its end. But there are still other hindrances to take care of.

As the story comes to a close, these little monsters will be exorcised.

Thanks so much, everyone! Just a little bit more to go!


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five**

**

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**

'Talk to me.' he hissed, gripping my shoulders and throwing me onto the bed. I landed pathetically on it, gripping the sheets so hard, I felt as though the skin around my knuckles would tear. I quivered as he stood before me, in all his menacing glory. Menacing... I never thought I would use the word to describe Yusei, and yet here he stood before me with eyes as cold and threatening as the devil's. His built did not aid in remedying the effect he currently had on me; every detail of his muscles only supported the thought that he could hurt me right then and there, and I wouldn't stand a hair's width of escape or victory.

'I don't know what to say.' I thought I said, but it came out as gibberish to me. I propped up on my elbows to try and at least gain some status in the situation, but I knew my shivering body gave me away. I suddenly felt very naked under him. I felt as though he could see everything about me; every deep, dark secret. I felt as though he could read my thoughts, read the messages my heart had locked away inside of me, messages my heart sent me but I couldn't read. I couldn't understand the feelings I had been going through, and I still don't. I don't know what I want, I don't know what direction I should go through. All my life, my decisions have been made for me; my parents, Divine, sometimes Yusei. There have been only a few instances wherein I had to choose, and those were when I had to decide between people - people who thought for me. I chose Divine over Papa, Yusei over Divine... Come to think of it, every other choice I had to make were insignificant trivialities such as what to order in a restaurant and what clothes to wear. Had I really been living at all?

'I know.' he stated plainly, and I could see he was attempting to subdue the rage boiling up inside of him. He wasn't crying, but his eyes were horribly bloodshot; I could at least tell that he wasn't very happy at the moment. 'You don't know how much you've just hurt me.'

I didn't respond with words for fear that I wouldn't be able to voice out what I truly felt. Instead, I just gazed up at him and sat up quietly.

'That was the first time anyone has ever rejected me.' he continued. 'Sometimes, I really don't get you. Often, you say you love me and you say that everything you do, you do because you want me to be happy.' he crept beside me, cupping my cheek with a hand, the other snaked around my waist to pull me closer to him, close enough for me to feel his hot breath on my forehead, close enough for me to take in his poisonous aroma. 'But everything you do makes me unhappy.'

I tensed up as soon as I heard that, my darkest fears becoming reality; that was the one thing I had hoped never to do; hurt him. I had been trying so hard to shield _myself_ from pain that I forgot all about him. I pushed him away, pushed everyone away; I thought that no one would be able to hurt me, if there was no one by my side. If I was all alone, I could blame all the pain I felt on myself; It hurt more, if I knew that someone else was hurting me; someone I loved, someone I held dear to me. It was the worst type of rejection.

'I don't mean to make you unhappy.' I managed to choke out, my lips trembling with the effort of actually speaking to him. 'I just didn't want myself to be unhappy.'

'By closing yourself up like an emergency mechanism?'

'Just shut up!'

He pushed me away instantly, standing up and clutching his hair in frustration. His usually musical voice came out in an ugly screech, a cry of agony. Words of curse escaped him faster than bullets shot from a gun. One difference the two had though, was that his words hurt so much more than a bullet ever could. I sat there trembling at the scene playing out in front of me, finding myself crying yet again. Somewhere deep down, I knew that he was crying too. I knew his heart was moaning in hurt, I knew even though I couldn't see his face.

Again, I couldn't see him. Yet again.

'Your back is all I ever see.' I started, my voice wavering.

'My back is all you ever want to see.'

'Why would I want that?'

'Because every time I try to approach you up front and court you, you shove me away as if I want to rape you!' he screamed as he turned around. He wasn't shedding any tears, but his eyes were even redder. He blinked a few times, biting his lips, still trying to suppress his emotions. 'I can't keep chasing you forever. I have a duty, Aki. I have a duty to my friends, I have to be there for them and I can't do that when I'm blindsided by a woman. I have a duty to my team in particular; I can't work on a new fucking engine when I can't think straight. I can't think straight because of you. You're always in my head, you're creating a hazy fog around me and I just don't know where to go, Aki.' he shook his head slowly. 'I don't know where to go.'

'Yusei.' I had no idea why I called out to him. It wasn't a part of a sentence, it wasn't even to call his attention or to make him stop; I just wanted to say his name. I just wanted to hear the sound of his name. But it was a disgusting sound right now, disgusting coming from my shaking voice, clogged with tears and negative emotion. I didn't like his name when I said it like that.

'But most of all, I have a duty to myself...' he spoked a little louder this time, a few tears finally escaping his weary eyes as his eyebrows furrowed and his lips mimicked the movement of mine; trembling, unable to control itself due to the intensity of the emotions the heart was drowning in. No.

'Please don't feel like this.' I begged, but it came out even softer than the flap of a bird's wings.

'I have a duty to myself. I have to live. I have to be happy. I can't feel like this forever, I can't, I just can't do it.' Without really thinking, I finally rose and took a step towards him. 'It's so bad, Aki. It feels so bad, it's like a monster is eating away at my soul. It's enough to make me not want to move on, it's enough to immobilise me. I can't think straight, I can't do things properly, I'm losing my memory, I'm losing everything.' I knelt down as he slunk to the ground, weakened. With whatever courage I had left in me, I cradled his head and tucked it under my chin, stroking his cheek with the tips of my fingers ever so slightly; gently, carefully, just how he loved me. He returned my gesture by wrapping his arms around shoulders and pressing his face onto my neck. 'I can't do this. I don't know how you ever could either.'

'We make each other miserable.' I murmured, more tears joining the stains on my face.

'Only when we're apart from each other.'

'What are you saying?'

I just stayed there, with him, just like that.

Neither of us knew what to say.

Neither of us knew what would become of us.

But what we both knew, was what we _wanted_ to become of us.

'We shouldn't be apart from each other ever again.'

We wanted to be together.  


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**A/N**: YES. The semester's nearly finished, all the topics are finally covered at school. Now all that's left to do is revise everything. What does this mean? It means I have more free time! In other words, more writing!

I'm sorry for the long wait, but here it is!

Just a little more guys. As you can tell, this is ending pretty soon. I hope you can stick around until then! I look forward to finally showcasing the final chapter!


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six**

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**

'Papa!' I cried as my father slapped him across the face with the back of his hand.

I glanced at Yusei, my stomach churning at the sight of the definite, red mark which had begun to form on his cheek. It astounded me how quickly he was able to recover from such a blow, however. As the hit forced his head to move towards the direction of the carpeted floor, he whipped it right back up and made eye-contact with my papa. This time, his eyes were different; they were still an amazing hue of blue, but they were different in nature. My father noticed it too, taking a step back as he leered at the younger man.

_'His eyes are so cloudy; full of secrets, full of mystery.'_

My father once spoke of those words to me. I remember squealing in agreement, praising his immaculate looks even further. I remember comparing them to the ocean; deep and exciting. Under the surface of that vast body of water, coral reefs flourished and tiny, colourful fish of all sorts were abundant. Venturing into the coolness was fun, an adventure. You felt safe, isolated from the dirty and dark atmosphere of the world above. The water was so clear and peaceful and empty that you believed it could wash away any impurities in the world, impurities which so persistently produce a miasma of sadness and chaos. In other words, I spoke of Yusei as my saviour.

But my father seemed to disagree, though he never explicitly said so.

He said that alongside those pleasant creatures beneath the surface, there were also dangerous monsters; bigger fish with razor maws and leathery skin, beings with no hearts, beings which were born to kill. He said that the ocean was also the world's biggest trap; It was beautiful and made one feel at ease, but once up close and intoxicated by the deceptive purity of it all, it killed you. You would be attacked, brow-beaten until you could no longer get up because of the pain. Your vision weakened by the red serum seeping from your wound, you'd sink to the bottom, to the deepest, darkest depths.

That was what he meant. That was the danger he was trying to warn me of.

But now, Yusei's eyes were no longer "cloudy" or "full of secrets". They were as clear as crystal, and just as chaste. There was something child-like and innocent about them now, something powerful yet fragile, strong yet weak. He was full of contradictions, contrasting characteristics standing side by side made up the man called Yusei Fudo. And yet, it was at this time that he seemed most mature and most straight-forward. He didn't need anyone to tell him what to do, and he wouldn't let anyone dictate how he should live his life; he knew what he wanted. He wanted to rekindle our relationship, he wanted to repent alongside me. To do that, he needed my parents' blessing. But my father was not one to forgive easily.

'Papa, please set aside your pride and forgive him! He's sorry, he's full of regret! He means what he says!'

'How can you expect me to forgive him after what he's done? Or rather, what he failed to do?' he demanded, turning to Yusei. 'If you take a woman, regardless whether you marry her or not, if you take her then that makes her your responsibility. It makes the baby your responsibility. And what did you do? You turned your back on her! While you basked in your happy family life with your wife, my child suffered in silence! Unable to scream, unable to seek help for fear of shame! She suffered all alone, accompanied only by that _parasite_ you gave her.'

'Dear!' cried my mother, stepping in between her lover and mine. Her arms flailed wildly in the air for a few moments before gripping the senator's shoulders firmly. 'Enough. Please!'

'My son is not a parasite. He is a blessing; the product of the love I share with your daughter.'

'The product of her mute pain and your need for comfort!'

'The product of two beings melting together.'

'You son-of-a-bitch!' he charged forward, though my mother was able to hold him back, albeit she struggled. His face morphed into a ghastly appearance; bulging eyes and a twisted mouth formed, his skin burning an angry red. 'Don't speak of Aki like that! Don't speak of her like she's some dog you expect to wait for you, to obey your every command! She's a living human being and you just left her to rot in darkness! She was your responsibility, and you left her!'

'But I never told him of my child, Papa!' I reasoned, my heart racing. I knew my parents' view on Yusei. Although they never said so in words, I knew that they thought he was irresponsible. I knew that they thought he used me to satisfy himself, to provide momentary pleasure. But things are different now. He loves me, and I love him. Love hurts, it's painful. It's like tracing your fingers on a rose; you had to go through the pain of the thorns in order to find beauty in the pleasant feel of your skin brushing against the smooth, soft petals.

'That doesn't make a difference, he should have checked up on you!'

'But he was having a hard time! Please understand him! He was in an unhappy marriage, he thought I was angry with him, he didn't even know if I wanted to see him. He didn't even know if I still loved him, or if I even viewed him as a friend. He was sad and angry, and I know what that's like! I know how it can blind you! All you see is your rage and frustration, you become completely engulfed in it. You realise that in your situation, your pain won't go away and so you try to channel it as power, as strength. But all it does is lead to your self-destruction, and you hurt others along the way. I should have told him. I should have let him know that he had offspring! That he had one to call his own!'

'Why do you so vehemently defend this piece of shit?'

'Because he isn't! Because I love him, Papa.'

I felt Yusei's hand squeeze mine, trembling slightly. I gazed up at him, but he wasn't looking at me. He was staring at my father with determination and purpose.

'I know I wasn't the best man for your daughter.' he started, his grip tightening. 'I know that I didn't act with chivalry. I know that I made her feel unloved and insufficient. I know that I made her feel like love was something she had to earn; with her heart, her actions, her words... her body. And I'm so sorry that I made you feel like my love was conditional.' he kissed the top of my head. 'I love you, and will continue to, no matter what happened or what _will _happen. Things have changed. I realise now what I must do. Hideo Izayoi, please listen to me; I didn't come here to pick a fight with you. I didn't come here to stimulate any ill feelings. I only came here to ask for your blessing.'

'Why would you need my blessing, Yusei?' he asked a little too sternly, gritting his teeth.

'I'm going to propose to Aki.' he declared, enveloping me in a warm embrace. 'And I intend to make her my wife.'

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**A/N**: I'm getting a lot of people threatening to do harm to themselves if I don't update stories. Please don't do that, it's seriously annoying and I'm already trying my hardest to update. And this isn't even an obligation.

I write stories to help me unwind and to entertain people. Seeing how it stresses me out and how it makes some members of the audience anxious to the point where they threaten to commit suicide pains me.

Even so, thanks so much for everyone's support. It's what keeps me going. I love all your messages and reviews, private or not. They really lift my spirits up. And I promise I'll finish this story, just please be patient. I promise I'll finish.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

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'No one wants us to be together.'

'I want us to be together.' I whispered, inching closer to him, 'You want us to be together. We want to be together. I think that's enough.'

'It's enough.' Yusei replied, twisting my ring absent-mindedly. He would do this whenever he was deep in thought about us. He thought I didn't know but I always knew that this meant he was pondering whether we should still be together. It's true; no one wanted us to truly start building a life with one another. Maybe they rooted for us in the beginning so that we would ease each other's pain. Maybe they thought that our love would pass and that we just needed to get it out of our systems. But the truth of the matter is that no matter how many times our past has made me cry, no matter how many times the memories flood back and I find myself sinking into a depression so powerful it could only be a black curse; I wanted to be with Yusei. It was the only reality I was willing to accept. Even though it hurt to be with him, to be strong enough to be next to him without guilt or shame or pain, happiness wouldn't even exist if he weren't with me.

He and I are both weak. We doubt our reality because it's no one else's reality. Our relationship is impossible for anyone else to recognize because of all the darkness that shrouded the light of our love. Crow, Jack, Mama, Papa… they can't acknowledge our love because they can't see it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It's there; it's small and it's overwhelmed at the moment by everything wrong that's happened, but the small shred of purity still exists between us.

Yusei and I get stronger each day. Being together starts to hurt less and less. This isn't because the pain goes away, but because the happiness is starting to overpower the misery. I know Yusei doubts the happiness will last much longer, but I know that for us to have come so far, we're meant to finish the journey together.

Two years have passed since my family turned their backs on me for choosing to stay with Yusei. We still talk with our friends, but the conversations are mostly awkward and the subject of our relationship seems to come up often. But we're so tired of talking about it, I'm tired of talking about the pain of the past, I just want to talk about the bright future and the brightening present.

I believe that sadness kills, and I can't bear the thought of drowning myself in despair before I've built the life I want with the person I love. I don't want to go before we have children, before we have property, before we have no more doubts. I don't want to disappear before the doubt has gone, I couldn't rest without knowing that we tried our best to love.

'How's your head?' he was referring to the nauseating side effects from the different medicines I was taking. It's amazing how they have a pill for everything now; fertility, depression, psychosis…

'Fine, as always. You know I don't take them.'

'Aki…' he rubbed his temples before gently bringing my hand to his mouth so he could kiss it, 'You know that it would make your life so much easier.'

'How?'

'Your body wouldn't be so frail, your hormones would go back to normal, you wouldn't be so sad anymore.'

'I'm fine.' I replied, and the firmness in my voice signaled to him that I didn't want to be convinced any more. He was always worried about me, but day-by-day he's beginning to trust me. We used to have horrible fights about my medicine; he used to shout at me in an effort to intimidate me into taking the anti-psychotics and the hormones. There were also days when I caved in and knew I had to take them, or I'd lapse into a horrible state of living. But I haven't had to touch them in almost a year and Yusei trusts me more. He always thinks I'm trying to be strong, but the reality of it is that I'm just trying to stop being so weak.

'Aki, I love you.'

He'd always end the day with those words. But even after hearing them every night for so long, I never thought that he lost his sincerity. My eyes and his lock, and I connect with the torture his heart had to go through for so long, and the childish hope for something more beautiful. It was this moment that I lived for; it was for this daily routine that I would the familiar sting in my eyes, as if the immense love I'd feel in this moment threatens to escapes through warm tears. For seconds, I'd forget about everything we went through and just feel the stainlessness affection we have now. In his eyes I saw the hope he saw in me. This connection affirmed to me that what we have is real, that I am his love as much as he is mine.

'I love you too, Yusei.' I finally smiled.

As if those were magic words, his eyelids fell and he began to sleep with the most peaceful expression. I leaned into his chest, finding comfort in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. I knew that I could face her.

'He's beautiful!' Aya exclaimed, pointing a sharp fingernail and Yusei's unthreatening face, 'Don't you just love him like this?'

I didn't answer. Whether Aya is truly a mad ghost or whether she's just a figment of my guilty conscience, I never really figured out. But I knew that if I wanted her to leave me alone, I couldn't show any weakness to her. I knew that one day she would tire of me, tire of her sad existence, clinging onto a man and a life she had given up so long ago.

'You're beautiful!' she praised him again, extending her arm to him, but never touching his skin, 'You're so beautiful. You were mine. You were so beautiful when you were with me, when you were mine, when it was us, when it was just us and not her. Why couldn't you stay with me? We were beautiful, I swear we were beautiful, more beautiful than this.'

She started to wail and her strong features exploded into a weak expression of longing and denial. I know the feeling of wanting to live and wanting to escape from the shell of a dead soul, but I could no longer feel for her. She had given up. She shouldn't have.

'The more of you I see,' I started, allowing myself to communicate with her momentarily, 'The more I'm glad I'm me.'

* * *

**A/N**: Let me explain why I've been gone in the shortest wording possible.

I suffered a massive injury during rehearsals for a ballet production the company was going to put on. The damage was meant to be purely physical, but for some reason I just fell into this strange depression. It wasn't even because I couldn't dance. It was more because I couldn't even walk. I was so absorbed in being so depressed that I just didn't want to do anything. You'd think I'd have more time to update and write, but really I'd just want to stare into nothing or cry.

When I recovered, I pushed myself too far and hurt myself again. My knee dislocated a total of three times in one year. I had to undergo rehabilitation for another year because I didn't want surgery. By March this year, I healed up and I've been performing again! That, coupled with a very kind message I received the other day, motivated me to continue!

I'm sorry that it took so long, but here it is. I'm back and I hope that I may never have to be absent for such a long time ever again!


End file.
